Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in a rush so when I got home I went to my bedroom, which is on the ground floor, and just started changing my clothes. It wasn’t until I was done I realised my blinds were open. Basically, I'd flashed my thong and tits to a packed bus stop. FML
Today, I woke up and decided to get the morning paper, I went outside with my bath robe on and when I leaned down to get my paper my bath robe came undone. Apparently everyone on my street saw it and decided to bring up public nudity at the next neighborhood meeting. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML
Today, I woke up at a guy's house drunk and soaked in my own pee. I had passed out with all my clothes on. Since I was late for work and didn't have a change of clothes, all I could do was throw my jeans in the dryer. I had to sit all day at work in crusty pee pants. FML
Today, a tile slid off the roof and knocked me out as I was fetching my mail. Apparently, I lay there for a while with the wind blowing my dressing gown up, flashing my bare ass to the neighbourhood. People took pictures, but no one thought to check I was alive, not even my kids. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, I came home from a New Year's party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML
Today, I made quite an impression on my new bin men by forgetting to put the bin out 'til the last minute. I'm sure they enjoyed a good laugh at the woman in shorts, tank top and slippers struggling with a brolly as she slipped and slid while dragging her bin up a hill in a downpour. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's not the kind of junk the garbage men wanted to see.
Dave_Davington 35
Just so you know, the appropriate level of embarrassment is inversely proportional to the size of your todger.
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Comments (10)
Dave_Davington 35
Just so you know, the appropriate level of embarrassment is inversely proportional to the size of your todger.
BurnInDemonFire 39
That's not the kind of junk the garbage men wanted to see.
TxKitten79 10
Maybe its time to stop drinking.
Benopero 8
Bruh, reading that first sentence almost gave me a stroke.
ChromoTec 24
Is it just me or did anyone else read this with a British accent?
wanted_2_want 40
That’s nuts dude!
real life problems 26
The font is pink and a background picture of a woman made me assume it was a woman running out in a night gown.. but you were swinging in the breeze? He she?
chosha_fml 27
Points for even remembering the bin needed to go out when you were that hung over.
Marcella1016 32
Can we officially vote this as the most British FML ever?