Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML
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Top comments
deLongenator 4
Then kick him hard!
HolaJessicaHola 0
Kick hard. Tell him "we want to be sure, right?"
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Comments (198)
lianneg 0
What an idiot!
eyecon502 13
Please refrain from have intercourse with him. The possibility of him ever reproducing frightens me.
DracoSpirita 21
Agreed.
onealmxwilson 18
Today, your boyfriend is mentally retarded. FYL
igese 11
at least you have an excuse now..
Awsumuzzie 12
What an idiot... that's just painful! It is, however, proven that if the girl is on top, the gravitational pull of Earth will keep those little athletes out!
gonad_gobbler 1
I know everyone is saying the boyfriend is dumb and he shouldn't reproduce and all that, but it is true to a certain extent. One swift kick to the nuts won't do it, but if you repeatedly bash in his ballsack with steel toed boots it will surely render his testicles useless.
shahroni1 3
balls produce sperm , good idea.
geod69 8
Correct
sonicboom17 0
get pregnant and show him how edfective it really is. then kick him for being a dipstick
Awsumuzzie 12
Why breed with a idiot, have package, and be sad? Just yup prove a point lol.
Awsumuzzie 12
To*, not yup.
lianneg 0
75- its AN idiot.
Awsumuzzie 12
Lol I gave up. No more commenting while being half awake.
eeyoremily 1
Then you should kick him HARD in the nuts everytime he wants to have sex!!!