Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML
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Top comments
deLongenator 4
Then kick him hard!
HolaJessicaHola 0
Kick hard. Tell him "we want to be sure, right?"
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Comments (198)
pfx2_fml 15
You must be having so much fun.
immaMonsta 8
He isn't entirely wrong. If a guy gets hard enough in the balls he'll lose the ability to have kids. Why don't you try it out? His genes aren't needed anyway.
immaMonsta 8
*kicked
MrSassypants 34
I'm never getting hard again.
DocBastard 40
By saying that, you think he's such an idiot that you won't sleep with him. And abstinence IS the only guaranteed 100% effective form of birth control. In other words, he's absolutely correct.
bizarre_ftw 22
Sort of related - If I were to have a baby before I had sex I would punch someone, I don't give a damn if it was the son of god!
freeze101mam 5
Ramshambo!!! You go first lol
DocBastard 40
Ramsham...what? Oh, you must mean rochambeau. Gotcha.
JustDerpin 11
you, ma'am, are frigging awesome.
Aug1508 9
Well if u kick his balls hard enough, they'll probably come out his throat, and can no longer use them. So yea... Birth control. Lol
jujubunni5 9
Ask him if you can assist him with this birth control method
metalwolf 17
You dont deserve it but am pretty sure he does. HDI
rcgirl2 11
Hmmm. Maybe you should try it.
jayhawkchik 4
You should kick him so hard that he won't ever be able to breed, we don't need him polluting the gene pool.