Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
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Top comments
lhoavtee 3
if you wee suffocated wouldn't it mean your dead
fluffyrocka 0
breathe op, breathe
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Comments (290)
TinyDude 10
That teaches u to not chew.
mariazzz 5
ROFLMAO can I have your number?? lol
wettcherry 0
#34, Ikr?? lmao
littlemisschat 0
I agree with #23!
lehippie23 0
i feel for you. but that is some funny shit =P
stevenmx86 8
You "was suffocated"? Do you mean you passed out from suffocation or that she suffocated you by holding on? Because the latter doesn't really require a time frame and the sentence is poorly assembled if you meant the first option...
FlaminqoBADd 0
Lol poe thanq
tnlander 20
less whining, more eating, OP or next you won't make it out alive.
krissi3 0
lmao
enoughgrace 4
Suffo-cotting.
webb1234 0
do you have prince Albert in the can?
kazst 2
Bryan Regan rocks!!
CadetVarsity19 0
if u suffocated how did u post this?