Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML
Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML
Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML
Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML
Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
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Top comments
KaelaKhaotic 5
What song was it?
bustub2 8
"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.
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Comments (187)
KaelaKhaotic 5
What song was it?
PillowPetLovers 6
That's what I'm wondering
bustub2 8
"I'm a Little Teapot" is my guess.
katsuku 5
Relax (don't do it) by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
melchibr_fml 0
Whip it~Devo
McDonaldsworker 4
Please don't say the song is that Barney "I love you" theme song
guitarbeast 22
Haha I'm pretty sure it's who let the dogs out
thatpreppyguy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hope it was a Whitney Houston song because that scarlet got what she deserved!
IAmNotAnAnimal 9
What what in the butt.
The_Hitdude 12
WTF is wrong with you? That was extremely disrespectful and unnecessary. You are the epitome of a troll. Go **** yourself.
The_Hitdude 12
*to #50
nerdlyfe101 4
50 - you deserve to die .
1awliet 8
Bad touch :)
mockingjaygirl16 8
well that's awkward..
chocolemonade 6
well if it makes you feel any better, my favorite song as a child was about chugging alcohol and "pissing the night away"...
betticonfetti 7
Tubthumping? Really?
MoodyBlue320 11
I love that song! I can't believe I never knew >_
niznor99 6
Tiptoe through the tulips...
Damn_Hippster 11
Never gonna give you up?
lebronesque73091 12
These damn fmls always keep you guessing.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
82, I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down!!
mikeduse 0
Ya it's definitely relax don't do it
mxpklx 12
I think I'm turning Japanese" is about sex...
Simoneaux17 11
Motörhead - Orgasmatron
RadPenny 6
Get Low-Lil' Jon that was mine as a kid...unfortunately...
nofearjenshere 12
relax (don't do it) has now been infested with FMLers. (including me)
docscientist 10
82 - fychildhood
DezmondFlynn 6
I agree with Relax And in response to the "Pissing the night away comment", just in case you didn't know, it's a phrase that basically means drinking cheap/weak alcohol all night. It's a UK thing.
Marcella1016 32
"I would do anything for love...but I won't do that"
imustbeinsane 2
FACK by Eminem, only he isnt very good at delaying ****** in the song
cc_the_beast 6
One of my favourites as a kid was 'Whats the Story, Morning Glory?' by Oasis. "All your dreams are made, when you're chained to the mirror and the razor blade"
gntfmlingnow 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If it took OP this long to realize that "Relax, don't do it" was about delaying an ******, they're a bit behind.
hayleyjames 0
My favorite song when I was a kid was it wasn't me by shaggy
stariee1997 16
188 - me too! I had no idea what it meant but I knew practically all the words (except for the really fast rap part). I'd sing it while playing Spyro on the ps1 with my dad. xD
bohemiangoddess 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I lul'd so hard!
chocolemonade 6
Ah, I did not know that! Still doesn't make it that much better :p
JavIin 0
Knowing about delaying an ****** is common childhood knowledge? Wow! I never knew!
gunmania0 12
I like big butts - sir mixalot
emilyjgraham 34
unfortunately mine was me julie by shaggy and ali g...
MischievousV 8
No its not. A lot of people think it is but the band said it was about a guy missing a girl and feeling 'foreign'. Cracked busted the myth in one of their articles
gunmania0 12
Sorry 226, I got the song off of a friend. God damn misinformation.
Loveely414 9
Mine was turn me on by Kevin lyttle -_- I was so naive
nigel22 0
Mine to lol
Mr_west27 7
K
Savnmax 0
Chumbawumba!!!!! Takes be straight bac to 4th grade!
starmite 0
I think it's eminem fack ..... That poor gerbil
smartblondey 5
My favorite song was milkshake by kelis :) ah the innocence :)
bfsd42 20
162, you are close but incorrect. Pissing the night away is drinking any sort of alcohol. Not necessarily cheap or weak stuff.
SailorLove 4
Get low came out when most of us were in high school. Before your time 146.
forevermay5811 0
Well, my favorite song was (I'm not quite sure If this is the name, but whatever,) "Pussy Control." my family told me I sounded just like the man XD
swimorsink 4
Baby are you down down down down down
blaackandprouud 20
Haha my favourite song was Smack That- by Akon. I never knew..
etharay 6
My best guess would be that one by sum 41- In too deep?
smartblondey 5
My two year olds knows all the words to peacock by Katie perry. The looks I get when she sings it :L
smartblondey 5
My two year old always sings "I wanna see you peacock" when ever we go grocery shopping everyone's facial reactions are priceless :L
foreverlonelyLOL 0
Hahahahhahah! Mine too :p
Zeppelin1969 5
The Lemon Song?
speedy420 0
you are hella cute ^-^ rawrrr
AngelSpit 18
One of my faves as a child was I used to Love her GnR. A proud momment for my mother was picking me up from catholic school at 6 years of age and watching me skip down the hall past the nuns singing "I used to love her, but I had to kill her"
dayschape420 0
82- TUBTHUMPING WAS MY FAVOURITE SONG TOO!!!
Maysasa 1
True.
fishielover1124 12
That's what I was thinking. I can't imagine another song having that meaning O.e
thethingthatshou 4
As a child I listened to an old Cajun song called " the Cajun stripper" top that
trintrinmir 9
No, that's about getting stoned. Cause your eyes look like your Japanese when you get stoned apparently...
schalk 12
It's actually about the face you make when you tug it
GreenDayFanatic 5
It's about the face you get when you **********.
In_some_bullshit 13
#188 I was about to comment and say my favorite song as a kid was "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy best 90's kid's song lol
DMo42 14
My guess is Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
TheSithAssassin 15
Now I want to know what song this is! Anyway I hope you still enjoy it. ;)
cheerbabe3254 4
OP was listening to some very innapropro music!
ilikeapplejuice 7
I want to know how OP's parents let him listen to that as a child.. unless they didn't know it was about anal sex and delaying an ****** either??
immaMonsta 8
#45 There were a lot of songs in my childhood I listened to that were about sex and I didn't understand. I was really innocent as a child lol. So maybe the parents thought OP didn't understand what the song was REALLY about back then?
jcarolina 4
But OPs parents must've found it awkward when OP sang along..?
Astroman129 7
59- for me that was Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera.
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
Probably the Beatles I'm thinking.
21jason 9
That doesn't narrow down the song selection much.
TheMaster15 10
Really? How many songs do you know that are about anal sex and delaying an ******?
Phyre24 17
Too many...
21jason 9
Just about every song that comes out now.
X3liteXHunterX 12
So true.
floopyflooper 2
44-while it is true that most songs that come out now are about vulgar topics, OP said it was his favorite song as a child so I don't think that applies to current songs.
MoodyBlue320 11
It's Relax(Don't Do it) by Frankie Goes to Hollywood
deadeyedex 6
Almost every Eminem song
max_wilder 9
I can imagine a child singing the lyrics to a song like that
lkrunner101 7
Haha When i was younger i used to sing naughty lyrics to songs not even realizing what they meant
l0v3p4in 7
Hey, go to Youtube and your mother may have posted a video of it online. There's plenty of them with small kids singing the latest pop/rap song riddled with sexual innuendos and profanity. You may already be an Internet star and never knew it. ;)
ladyLALAA 29
I think it's that "girl I want to make you sweat" and there's a line like "looking at your big brown eye." I wish OP would clarify what the song is..
TheDrudgeChild 4
175 - it's Relax (Don't Do It)
MrsWojtowicz 16
ladyLALAA... It's "looking in your big brown eyes". That song is most definitely about sex... however, Bob Marley is a little more classy than that. ;)
ladyLALAA 29
Haha, 283 thank you for the info! I will promptly march my mind to the gutter!
thedhanjal 10
Well this is a shitty situation
1215116a 14
Not only an overused pun, it's not even being used right this time. ._.
HondaKidd 5
You don't have to be so anal about it..
melchibr_fml 0
Well there is the possibility that anal sex can be a shitty situation. But the situation itself doesn't deal with the act, only it's inclusion in a song.
silentbutfunny 0
Now THATS ^ anal
SlanderousFall 2
Oh!! I see what you did there!!! XD
TheDrifter 24
Now that's a message to prepare you for the future.
tjsomethin 9
Childhood ruined?
LVblondie 3
Pretty much.
swimmersrok 0
I highly doubt a song could ruin ur child hood. Xcept for barney mayb!
Swiftly 0
30- He wasn't being serious man...
MrsUresti 8
LMAO!!!!
hawaiianluv 6
Delaying an ****** with anal sex isn't a big accomplishment. JS.
Torva_fml 16
And I'm "just saying" that you could simply not waste your time, and ours by posting stupid comments. "J.S."
ProhibitionRose 14
Idk it may be TMI but my husband always finishes really quick when we're doing that because of how much he's into it >.>
lkrunner101 7
TMI
5t3ff1k4h 47
105 - You just made yourself look like a very willing young lady who doesn't have a filter on her mouth.
ObsceneOblivion 4
Actually, it is. Anal is supposed to be better for both parter, as in the anus there are a ton of nerve endings which increase the pleasure for the woman, and it's tighter than the ******, making it more pleasurable for the man.
downtime 13
143, Again, stop calling kettles black.
5t3ff1k4h 47
153, I'm flattered you're following my posts, but unfortunately you're mistaken.
alexup24 13
it all makes sense now doesn't it
xxCandyKissxx 1
Hehe :)
rodgersfan 6
Giggity.
xxCandyKissxx 1
What is giggidy? All these little nerds run around saying it at school!
silentbutfunny 0
Its when you have a twix moment.
xxCandyKissxx 1
Huh?