Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore my new noise-canceling ear buds in a grocery store and nodded along, getting into the groove. When I took them off at checkout, the cashier asked who I was talking to. I realized I’d been quietly singing to myself ASMR-style while making intense eye contact. FML
Today, I realized how alone I truly was when I caught myself talking to a podcast. FML
Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
Today, I got yelled at for having a set of headphones around my neck at all times, because it "makes me seem disinterested." Two things: 1. I have established myself as a very good listener among my peers; 2. I'm autistic, so I need the headphones readily available at all times to cope with loud environments. FML
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Today, I've become so used to being ignored, that not only can I recognize the unique physical and verbal tics (or lack thereof) that certain people have when they're not listening to me, but I can even mutter just about anything under my breath - even in public - completely confident that no one will listen. FML
Today, I connected my phone to my car’s Bluetooth to listen to music. I didn’t realize my playlist had shuffled onto an old voice memo where I'd drunkenly recorded myself singing a heartfelt love song about pizza. It played as my boss got in for our carpool to a conference. I had to sit through the drive while she hummed along to “Cheese, you complete me.” FML
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Top comments
elliotm 0
this is the saddest tale I've heard on this site
amburger7345 3
it's sadder that you bought a Bluetooth, and also that you feel talking to yourself is not normal. most people talk to themselves.
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Comments (207)
elliotm 0
this is the saddest tale I've heard on this site
PeteyPablo12308 20
Indeed. Such a sad, sad tale.
GigglePony 13
I guess it's twice as sad she's not the only one who does it. FML.
kitty0910 0
It isn't sad, sometimes talking to yourself is the only way to carry on and intelligent conversation.
BahahahLOL 0
I do that too. I even say "Let's ____" sometimes. GAWSH IM A LOSER.
violetdabomb 0
I'm guessing number 2 is sadder because I'm sure everyone talks to themselves at least sometimes! I do it too! And apparently 80% of the words you say in a day are words you say to yourself.
VorpikeII 17
same here. Although some people like KaySL talk to themselves ON FML!!!!! =D
IStoleTheCookies 16
I talk to myself loads. but only when I'm alone in my room or have a free house. it's kind of soothing in a weird way, cause you are the only person who will ever understand truly how you feel, and what you're thinking. It kind of helps to just say words out loud that you're thinking. But yeah, I talk to myself.
ruby84 1
yeah that's what I keep telling myself lol
SdCounty33 0
Definitely the bluetooth ear piece. And since you're asking you're why? It's because this way you're only encouraging your situation.
MyNameIsBruce 0
18-And 78% of statistics are made up on the spot.
VorpikeII 17
It's true KaySL I've seen you do it. you had a conversation back and forth with yourself. =D
xledellz 0
hhahahahahahhaha
margie2194 12
wow that's pathetic. OP needs a friend.
grizzvolleyball9 4
Don't hate
falluke17 0
ha
surferguy7979 1
I talk to myself all the time, I don't know about conversations though..
cgrimm18 0
ugly
dbaldonado 0
yep!
XxCrazygirlxX 0
It's normal to talk to your self. And fun.
CrazyGirl445 4
I talk to myself when I'm so pissed off and I'm the only one who really understands....
iSitt 0
I like to wave my arms in the air. So I got VR goggles.
sourcherri23xx 0
I talk to myself all the time..even in public. half the time its better than talking to anyone else. it even helps me make decisions better
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
I talk to my self quite a bit but if he bought a bluetooth to do it all the time maybe op needs professional help or he's a genius and we don't no what were missing.
nhlnba2 6
If you talk to yourself in public, mess up your hair a little bit and wear dirty clothes. People will think you're crazy and give you their spare change!
L3Paparazzo 7
yess it is but this guys seems rettarded
LetItRise 0
it's ok to talk to yourself, and it's smarter to buy a Bluetooth, so people won't think your a freak
NineFishMffns_fml 0
Yeah I do, too, not in conversations, but when I'm going over thoughts or thinking really hard
RavenRiley007 4
lol...i do it, it's fun but the Bluetooth tho? really?...umm that's new...I guess...
MfailK 0
me: maybe I should post a comment.?. Me: nah it's lame. me: this guy doesn't seem that far out. Me: dude he bought a ******* blue tooth so he can pretend he's talking to someone!!!!!!!!!! me: haha good point Me: #1 looks like an odd duck wonder what his malfunction is me: #9 is hot tho me: she seems smart me: I'd hit that Me: man shut up go back to work
Mindtrap 0
wow I totally thought I was the only one. my family makes fun of me for it all the time but it just helps me think through things better
tboudre 0
just don't answer yourself.
violetsweety 26
It's also normal for ur best friend to sleep with your mom!
sketcher56 3
only if ur trying to work something out
trappedinthevoid 0
109 is my hero
Smashhoof 15
I talk to myself when I'm plotting evil plans to take over the world.
DoomSkuller 28
Normal to talk to yourself, yes. If you start answering yourself, though, you should probably seek a professional or an asylum.
amburger7345 3
it's sadder that you bought a Bluetooth, and also that you feel talking to yourself is not normal. most people talk to themselves.
Hisbabyforever 0
I like your username amburger.... did you get that from the pink panther movie with Steve martin in it? if not, you should watch that it's soooo funny
funnyFMLSplz 0
hisbabyforever, i//ve never heard anyone in a comment telling someone else to watch a movie..
fluffyrocka 0
I think it's time we see a doctor op,
22cute 17
I don't think that's sad. I think it's cool! And clever!
fluffyrocka 0
The funny part is , I'm playing my little violin as I write this
BellaGoBoom 6
Ok. Now what's the funny part?
fluffyrocka 0
I'm getting there,
shakeTHEworld 12
I think the funny part was the expression 'playing the smallest violin' or something along that line. i don't know, i heard it in spongebob once.
x_xTayhlax_x 4
I talk to myself all the time :D. I ever argue with myself... And lose....
ynghzze 0
you argue with urself and loose ?
knee_uhhh 0
lmfaooooo .
bitheway 2
I argue w/ myself and even after I win I keep goin cause I love to argue
BayBeezy 0
oh ya. me too...the bitch just never shuts up, always trying to prove a point while I'm just trying to get it done.... Because we have to see the pros and cons of things before they get done so we can see how to go about it.... Tho sometimes it doesn't matter, it's just a matter of doing it..... But if you do it without thinking it throughly it's not going to get done right so why do it at all.... See?? Always trying to prove a point..
rudie_fml 0
wait what? you lose an argument to urself
Dukekamono 5
I fap with myself is that weird too?
gintori 0
haha when I was little I had an invisible friend Gary.. I think it is normal to talk to urself or think aloud, it's ok OP haha
LTHoratioCaine 4
nice reference
biggary19 3
oh shit im ur old invisible freind awesome how u been lol
mosquito19 14
it's not invisible. it's imaginary
gintori 0
haha well mine was invisible :) haha
MilleDevine 0
sounds like something I would to lol
Riya2595 15
that's so clever. I wish I had thought of that
DjeePee 25
Actually, I think it's a great idea. I also have very detailed conversations with myself, and sometimes I don't realise I'm talking in public. With your idea I could always keep talking! Yes!
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Your picture is very... interesting :o