Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his taser at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tased him for acting aggressively. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML
Today, I got tased, with the same TASER I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML
Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
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Top comments
TheEpicKitten 20
Report the guy. That's assault
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Your boyfriend certainly felt the spark in your relationship.
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Comments (88)
TheEpicKitten 20
Report the guy. That's assault
rickAUS 22
Indeed it is.
SpyroMello 29
Idk what the laws are in Czech since that's where OP is from. But still, it's ridiculous he had to be tazed for hugging his girlfriend
KeithHof 12
It's actually battery, because battery is physical, and assault is a threat.
TH_Insomniak 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
no it isn't. my sister just got an assault charge for punching a girl in the face. pretty sure that is a little more than just a threat.. but think what you want
mudkipsan 19
Because this comes up a lot: In general, we have assault (a credible threat to or attempt to cause harm through unwanted contact) and battery (actually causing harm through unwanted contact). However, the actual statutes vary in definition and name for every country, state, province, prefect, county, and city that addresses them. In some places assault is a blanket term and covers both. In some places verbal battery is a thing. So you're probably both right, but only locally.
ThrottleJockey 36
I'd call it battery because that's what powers the tazer.
Soloman212 28
I like the way you think.
awildwhisper 30
that's incorrect
zharks1010 18
I swear police and guards these days are so ******* retarded and sexist towards men.
singlwforlife 22
This sounds more like F your boyfriend's life. But in all seriousness, I hope you reported it to whoever was in charge. That's not okay.
Ms_ValS 27
Did the guard think your boyfriend was just going around lifting people up and hugging them?
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Your boyfriend certainly felt the spark in your relationship.
kkelly22 15
Hehe. I had a good laugh at that.
JHPugh 19
I applaud. Very nice!
Masift 21
That was too good
oreoeater 21
Her beauty leaves him stunned
XxMLGGODxX 10
bazinga.
Cads1 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least he was paying attention. This time was a false alarm, next time it may not be.
writerchic85 26
If he'd been paying attention he'd have seen it was a hug and that the girl was not struggling or in danger.
DoomedGemini 38
Not to mention he tazed him after he put her down for just asking what he did.
Morning_fml 22
Cads' sarcasm is so advanced he gets downvoted hardcore. On a serious note: OP should press charges. Police brutality is becoming more evident and it's getting out of control.
countryb_cth 38
The guy was a security guard not a cop
TheAnon1313 28
79, while he is a security guard, he could have been trained as a police officer, and in some places, security guards are actually olive officers.
catmint 13
'Murrica.
Dave_Davington 34
Czerck Repurblerk!
JosephKorso 15
Except it was in the Czech Republic. It even says RIGHT UNDER THE FML! Please pay attention.
skippydoda 32
The app doesn't say where they're from. And it does sound like an American thing to happen
KingSkye 13
The app actually does say where they're from, though.
MoonRks 6
The app shows the location for me...
catmint 13
Except it doesn't because I'm viewing on my mobile ^_________^ Please don't make assumptions.
catmint 13
Just like I assumed America because America's far too trigger happy ^____^
Benpie 22
It literally says where they're from right under the fml...
Riceball__o3o 15
It does say it on mobile.
moniculkin 19
So a bear hug is an act of aggression....
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Only to a security guard.
Epikatz 22
Or a bear, probably.
Tomato_Cheese 22
Fat or just generally massive?
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Does it matter?
shanson 22
Yes. Fat looks more harmless than like a big linebacker build
oreoeater 21
I'm gonna assume it was rugby player style large
Captaindead 3
Hope ur guy waited for security guards shift to finish.. N give him a nice tour of parking lot..
FFStepchild283 24
I would have given him the choice of assault charges or a return ass beating for not verbally figuring out what was going on before pulling the trigger!