Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I blanked the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "Medicine man." FML
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
Well...considering the sex stories on this website, you are someone's dream.
zingline89 18
Yeah I accidentally blurted out the same thing once on a date. Except I was an accountant at the time so the mistake wasn't as easily explainable...
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Comments (104)
longtimesunshine 4
NO NO NO NO NO
icepick23 12
Great profession--if you live in South Beach!
fischerxx 10
In your position I would have said the same thing... Game over man... Game over. Lol
upallnight11 19
Good use of words. Well, not really
Reaper1984 13
I gotta say op funny story, and good joke just really bad timing on that joke thats more of a bar joke, maybe next time
CheeseHater 23
If you're a guy, a bit creepy. If you are a girl, that guy will want to marry you, unless he's an unfunny twat. It's a hilarious story either way.
elise35173 1
A single doctor with a sense of humor?? Am I in a coma? I'd go out with you even if your jokes had bad timing!
obviousboy 8
Was he amused?
madmominaminivan 2
And that is why you haven't had a date in over a year you idiot.
jms240 2
I would probably lead with the whole I am a doctor thing. followed by I make great money and end it with i know the science of your body and sex and will blow your mind in bed. but that's just me.