Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I blanked the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "Medicine man." FML
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
newburton13 26
Well...considering the sex stories on this website, you are someone's dream.
zingline89 18
Yeah I accidentally blurted out the same thing once on a date. Except I was an accountant at the time so the mistake wasn't as easily explainable...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
dancinwookie 21
"I'm a full-on rapist" -Charlie "Are you trying to say you're a philanthropist?" -Charlie's date It's Always Sunny!
dr_snow_bear 29
Thank god you don't work part time as KFC.
sirjuice35 11
lmao
Sir_Swaggington 6
I knew all male gynos were pervs.
Strangemixie 8
Best job ever. They'd be blessed to date an expert ;)
eneecole 0
My god you all are retarded. Those of you proclaiming "you're a gynecologist and you get nervous around women", OP clearly says he JOKINGLY tried to say he was a gynecologist. Learn to read properly you illiterate asshats.
ropeh 3
Are you trying to say that he was joking about being a gynecologist? Because I'm pretty sure he was trying to make a joke out of his being a gynecologist. Not trying to pretend (jokingly) that he was one.
onorexveritas 24
that's not awkward
Satoaoi 13
how does one blurt something disgusting like that out
Slavgaard 16
Could have said 'Cave explorer'
jdime209 2
This is a FAiL. Lol