Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I blanked the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "Medicine man." FML
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
Well...considering the sex stories on this website, you are someone's dream.
zingline89 18
Yeah I accidentally blurted out the same thing once on a date. Except I was an accountant at the time so the mistake wasn't as easily explainable...
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Comments (104)
tlvv 12
Doctor - next time say you're a doctor. Being a doctor is a good thing. Being a douche is not.
o_uhu_intrstng 4
it might have worked out better if you said you "work with your hands", and then mention your occupation
catnip711 3
So.. you're a gynecologist.. but you can't date women... Hm.
paprika_pilipili_fml 14
What a lousy joke... You don't say things like that on a first date!
daniellenb22 4
perv, how can u be in a field like that an lack social skills smh
kevingirl 6
that's really ****** up. I'm appalled that a Dr woukd say that.