Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
Today, I had my first interview in over a year. I panicked and passed out. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I blanked the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "Medicine man." FML
Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
Well...considering the sex stories on this website, you are someone's dream.
zingline89 18
Yeah I accidentally blurted out the same thing once on a date. Except I was an accountant at the time so the mistake wasn't as easily explainable...
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Comments (104)
whY402Jay 12
One of the most epic ways to describe that occupation i've ever read.
perdix 31
You penetrate ******* all day for a living and yet you crack up in the presence of a fully-dressed woman? I'm confused. Is your next date going to have to put her feet up in the stirrups before you can maintain your composure with her?
Elle_ShellBelle 15
Idk why perdix but something about your comments kinda turn me on. I wish you lived in Seattle and were single
skyeyez9 25
A good friend of mine is a gynecologist/obgyn. Imo, its a stressful job vs other physician specialties. You have a higher risk of being sued because parents blame you for their child's birth issues that are out of your hands. He was even sued 5 yrs later because the idiot parents blamed him delivering their baby caused their son to be autistic. Another mom who drank like a fish blamed him for birthing a son with fetal alcohol syndrome.
SakataGintoki 9
Hard to imagine people are just that ******* stupid, too bad it's sadly true.
perdix 31
#14, OB/Gyns can get sued up to 18 years after a kid is born, but they have insurance for that. The take-away message for the kids is: **** studying medicine, go into the insurance racket!
somecoolperson1 2
So that's why you became a gynecologist ;)
tygerarmy 35
Hopefully you at least took her out to a nice restaurant, one where the food was finger-licking-good.
zingline89 18
At least you're not a proctologist Girl: So what are you passionate about? Guy: Sticking my finger in guys' butts.
lcd42 7
Compliments on the... honesty. I guess. :-) If she was able to take the nervous joke, I'd say you found a keeper!!
bachooka 5
I find it very ironic that you spend your day elbow deep in pussy, yet have difficulty getting a date.
mimiminx 23
Elbow deep?! Ouch!
RedPillSucks 33
He really enjoys his work.
perdix 31
#20, a woman goes to the gynecologist and as he examines her, he says, "My, you have a large ******! My, you have a large ******!" She said, "You didn't need to say it twice." He replied, "I didn't."
wjh100 13
heard it 100 times bro get with the quota you're slacking
perdix 31
#67, hey, it's an old joke, but if people hadn't heard it, I think they'd like it. I'm all about service. At this point, 22 more people liked it than didn't.
SillyGirl4602 23
67- no need to be a jerk about it. I never heard the joke before and I thought it was funny.
iChompYa 18
Smooth like a rock their
YodasTwinSister 11
Stand back world, I think #24 is trying to communicate with us. Let me see if I can decode his words. ........... *brain explodes*
EpicSquishii 21
27- Rude. 24- Dumb. Whatever number I am- Hypocrite
crudeandrudeguy 29
I just MUST say your profile almost made me die laughing. Excellent work.
HeartOfLead 24
Quite the creeper there, 72! P.S. I am also a hypocrite.
taranpreet 7
You're a moron.