Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML
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Top comments
bazookajoey 27
Obviously there was a way...
NotGabe 28
Retest. Pregnancy tests aren't 100% true to their results.
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Comments (187)
rickets 2
You can not get a false positive pregnancy test!! The test looks for a hormone only present in pregnancy! If you are not pregnant it won't be there! A false negative is possible.
SPN_lover666 27
Axtually, you can get a false positive pregnancy test. I am a virgin and needed one to refill my birth control pills and the doctors got a false positive after using an expired test. They used another and guess what? That one was negative.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
I'm worried about all of these people insisting false positives don't exist...
likeableme 9
So are you really pregnant or is it a positive/negative pregnancy test.
angelmomof3 10
Birth control isn't always effective either, and OP might not know that. If she's on birth control and recently took antibiotics, then its ineffective for a short time too.
Einstein89 0
"Despite there being no way"
mikuxxhatsune 32
"No way I could be pregnant"... lol no.
buffy999 11
She could have had her period. and that throws women off. trust me. it happens.
Linzlis 0
So let me get this straight. There is no way I could be pregnant but I am? Wtf are you virgin Mary?
fantasyworld 39
It could be a false positive, I'd get blood work done.
isisorchid 16
There are no false positives.
limabeans101029 21
103- Not strictly true. Read some of the other comments
SPN_lover666 27
#103, of course there can be false positives. It happened to me and I am a virgin. They give you a pregnancy test when you renew your birth control pills which I am on to regulate my period. They used an expired test and it came out positive. They used another, and it was negative.
RabbitOfAurora 28
I have never wanted a follow up more in my life.
missyfiona89 28
You're pregnant although there's "no way" you could be? Holy Mother Mary! The prophets were right! Jesus IS coming back!