Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my parents' house after escaping my abusive relationship. My mom scoffed and said, “This is what happens when you move out, barely graduated high school, with a bum.” When I told her I was 3 months pregnant, she said, “And a child out of wedlock? You’re a lost case!” and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
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Top comments
ReyEr9412 0
Was she in a coma?
MiniJenny_fml 0
Wow! Did she miss the wedding?
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Comments (204)
ReyEr9412 0
Was she in a coma?
JackRocksSoSuckI 0
haha
Expertfail 0
I'd be glad in that situation. You can point out her errors and show her to be the moron she is....
VanessaVander 2
that sucks
Horney4her69 0
why are you getting married and having kids if you still live with your mom. you're an idiot.
saywaturcoco 0
maybe u nvr invited her to ur wedding!
KyleSays1 0
sucks2be uuu!
gigi_bella 0
Where the hell has she been for the past few months?
cater2U 0
how does math have anything to do with this situation?
ImaginaryFoe 1
Maybe she was just visiting and her mom made her leave. OP, let your mom figure it out in 6 months.
KovuTheHusky 1
Logic fail. 3 months pregnant, 5 months married. Subtraction works best here.
vanillathirteen 0
#35 she meant thrown out because she was visiting there and then her mom made her leave
dance_till_dawn 0
It doesn't say she lives with her mom, idiot. it says she got thrown out of her mom's house. The OP could have been visiting her mom to tell her the happy news.
vanillathirteen 0
#44 mom thought that the op got pregnant before marriage.. but if op is 3 months preggers and 5 months married than obviously she didn't get pregnant before marriage @ Op sucks but if your mom is like that now you don't really need her in your child's life
dance_till_dawn 0
Ummmm, because her mom said she got pregnant out of wedlock but the OP conceived two months AFTER marriage. Idiot!
MissRachieee 3
#35 She says throws out of HER house. She probably went to her mom's house to tell her and her mom kicked her out of her house.
Jonashonorxolove 0
#44, she's 5 months married, but 3 months pregnant. So, this means that she got pregnant two months into the marriage, but her mom didn't see that.
katius_fml 2
...if she had gotten married two months ago, and was three months pregnant....
Gemzy87 0
Well she wouldn't be married if she sill lives with her mum wouldn't she? darh!
DGross 8
...or your mother poked holes in his condoms so that she could frame you to kick you out of the house...duhhh :-P
triniteejoy 0
wow
janise 2
@ Horney4her69: It's funny you're calling someone else an idiot when you obviously have little to no reading comprehension. The OP never said she was living with her mom. She most likely went to her mom's house for a visit to share her news of being pregnant and her mom got mad and told her to get out.
ravensunnyd 0
what's a wedlock
bsxdownhill 0
Agreed. YDI.
ecfrost 4
5 months of being married - three months of being pregnant=2 months after being married before getting pregnant.
MQ_was_here 0
#87: That is self-explainatory: "wed" lock? If you still don't get it then wedlock is the concept of being married. -_- And OP, I think your mom has schizophrenia and alzheimer's all rolled into one. Either way, this has got to be the funniest FML in a while.
DOEETFORTEHLULZ 0
Maybe she was just visiting her mom? And after hearing it, her mom just threw her out of the house.
DreamerofWorlds 0
I know, right? Even if you somehow misunderstood the FML, read the comments! I always do just in case I missed something, so I don't sound like an idiot when I comment.
DerangedFox 0
Tell mom to lay off the crack.
killswitch307 0
she didn't say that she lived with her mom stupid ass, she said that she got thrown out of her house. Man I can't believe how many people can't form basic logic in their brains.
dbjb40 0
I think people in comas are smarter then that FYL
ashlynn610 12
It only says that it is "her house." Dumbass.
shinyred 0
Actually many people get married and still live with a parent if they get married young or can't afford to live somewhere else.
thor89 0
YOU ***** !!!!!!!!!
lovindepp 0
well obviously her mom thought she got pregnant BEFORE the wedding but she is 3 months pregnant and has been married 5 months. 3 is less than 5 that's where the math comes in. OP: why are you living with your mom if you're married?
libyan 0
doesn't it just mean she had sex out of wedlock?
darkmis1 18
35: She never said she was living with her mom-her mom might've just banned her from visiting.
fifthofnever 0
has the mother doneher math she would've known that her daughter became pregnant 2 months after her wedding. 5-3=2
zyxwv88 1
Why do you assume that she's living with her mom rather than just visiting as most of us did? You're an idiot.
bleedinginside 0
this＾
CountChaos 0
name the baby "oops"
pbonline1234 0
wait so your married and live with your mom? fake
knifeknight 0
it said she was at her mom's house, not living at her mom's house.
jpest17 5
idiot 2 months after she was married she got prego.
cater2U 0
51 do you need a tampon or something because I can tell you're on your period. don't be such a butthole I asked a question and didn't deserve a bitch answer.
Tomaino 3
Nowhere in her post does it say she lives with her mom.
XScarlet 4
Let's break it down here... her mom was upset because thought that her daughter became pregnant "out of wedlock"... meaning she wasn't married. She has been married for 5 months, she is 3 months pregnant... Which means she was married for 2 months before she got pregnant (that's derived from... oh!! MATH!).
pyrodude185 0
ur mom is a ****** bitch
eternalaphrodite 0
Just a thought...maybe she went over to her mother's house to tell her the news. You can be thrown out of a house you don't live in...
IAmRoot 0
sounds like you and your kids are better off without "grandma" around anyway. Make sure she never sees them, except when other family members show her pictures.
GiddyXD 0
#35 i was gonna say that..
hackymeal 0
35 you retard
benny2465 0
35 who says she wasn't visiting?
i8thelastcookeii 0
five months married, three months pregnant, crazy bitch mom, subtract 5-3=2!! yay! you did math! she got pregnant 2 months after marriage, therefor not being wedlock.
tyheron 0
sucks
ilovechocochipz 0
haha totally does u should hav gotten all moody and slapped her
HamsteronA 0
so is justin beiber. crazy over masturbation ****
mjk555 2
second not bad
DamnedSeraph 0
failure
saywaturcoco 0
epic fail ur 3rd
swagga0n1oo 0
Damn...your mom sounds like a bitch (sorry) good luck with everything.
KVKdragon 26
is she delusional or what? what the heck is all I can say. sorry that happened
Sun_Kissed18 25
Maybe she was just in shock, let her process it and then calmly talk to her again
spartan_girl 0
that was my first thought too, sun_kissed18. Especially if it wasn't really a planned baby, or if OP's mom didn't know they were trying to have a kid. My mom would probably be pretty shocked if I got pregnant right now, even though I'm married, because she knows we aren't financially ready for a kid yet. OP-that really sucks, but congrats, and good luck with your pregnancy. Hopefully your mom will calm down and be happy for you soon!
tbbucs 0
lol @ nice math mom
Chelser 0
did you bother to remind her of this and make her feel like a moron? i totally would have
MiniJenny_fml 0
Wow! Did she miss the wedding?
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
Religion is wrong. Who cares what she thinks F your moms L
denbeste 3
^BEST. COMMENT. EVER!^ Religion sucks ass.
HamsteronA 0
what's wedlock?
theQunit 0
@13 Its when u get pregnant before you get married, chief
adrianna4ever 0
when ur married. so that makes it "ok" to have a baby in most religons
HamsteronA 0
thanks. and op your mum is pysco. big timet
dance_till_dawn 0
#25? Ummm, wedlock is just being married. If you are pregnant out of wedlock, it just means you are not married.
The_Great_Zucchi 15
And pregnant...