Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML
Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML
Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML
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Top comments
whyowhy26 3
cant you KNOW when you're about to puke? i always can and am, if not fully, at least halfway upto the bathroom by the time i actually vomit...
john_bell 0
Well when you don't feel well don't go to work, understand?
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Comments (52)
roundnproud 7
Nice going there.
lexilovesyou 0
Ahaha, Bummmmer.
tyhillman 0
He just doesn't know how to talk to women haha.
A83_fml 18
at least you've got an original ice-breaker right there...
john_bell 0
Well when you don't feel well don't go to work, understand?
Kielnmsoftly 26
Some people can't.
cyberpimp 4
LOL I bet she felt worse
youthink_fml 0
Last night's dinner was digested a long time ago.
helloprettyladee 0
Not if it was making her sick. After an apparent attempt to digest it, it stews in OP's stomach until the body finally decides to excrete it in another way. ;-)
youthink_fml 0
unless there's a blockage, yes, it goes on it's way.
whyowhy26 3
cant you KNOW when you're about to puke? i always can and am, if not fully, at least halfway upto the bathroom by the time i actually vomit...
plexico 4
Sexy! He's probably thinking bloaf. Look, give him your number, e-mail, address, list of turn-ons, etc. and insist he present you with his cleaning bill to free him of your spew. If you are at least presentable, you'll probably get a date out of this because he will feel sorry for you.
Intoxicunt 6
You can do that? Just give your list of turn-ons to someone and expect them to comply? I'll have to try that. Let's see, I'll start with Jeopardy. :]
plexico 4
What is Something I Like to Do for $200? HAHAHA ;)
Intoxicunt 6
Hahaha. Nice one. I fail at Jeopardy, so I'll leave it to you. Apparently I fail at Scrabble too, as I found out today online. =/
plexico 4
Don't be too discouraged by getting crushed at Scrabble. To be really good you have to commit to memory words that practically aren't words. If you use a word that nobody knows and you have to explain the word, it it really a word? It's a good thing you played online, that way the gloating loser can't fart in your face. That was a bad date strategy.
Intoxicunt 6
Yeah, I played against the computer instead of a person. That way, they can't type "*Farts in your face*" either. I'm just not creative. My thought process is "Hmm, I have all these letters that don't make words. I guess my word is going to be 'to'." I thought farting in someone's face was a great date strategy, especially if it isn't the first date. Damn prudes. :)
untalented1 0
this. i always thought it was just a joke on south park (that wouldn't occur in real life) until now...
jc21_fml 1
that will teach her!
americayay 0
F YOUR life? Really? She's covered in your puke.
jdannyl 0
FYL, FHL, Fthe cleaner'sL