Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next four hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I got a stomach bug. Then my three kids joined in like it was a team sport. My husband decided his actual soccer game was more important. FML
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML
Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
unfortunate_13 5
this FML reminds me of a family guy episode :)
Stumblebum30 5
Not sure that required a trip to the ER. it was more than likely food poisoning and it will pass. obviously OP felt well enough to post on FML.
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Comments (54)
sizzle1012 0
ok. if you are throwing up why would you waste your time posting on fml? i think that is rather stupid. why cant you wait 4 hours until you go home? i just dont understand that.
laxplayer37 0
It is astounding that you thought this was a complaint that needed to be evaluated in the emergency room...you are the reason health care costs are out of control.
rosiegrewup 0
...you went to the ER *why*? Surely I misread that part where you said you when because you were puking. Right?
thejedi08 10
family guy episode... WHO WANTS CHOWDER? *THROWS UP*
iSolDyourSouL 0
LOL I hope you weren't trying to re-enact that scene from Family Guy. Fyl
duzzyfucks 0
don't go to effin ER for that shit, stay home in bed ER is for broken bones, or deep ******* cuts! pmf
Lizzylibeth 2
That's so cute
smileyface143 4
ah, gotta love bonding?(:
viciousgrin 5
Bulimia does NOT count as a family activity. FYL
jazziness 12
We're not were