Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
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Top comments
jlc82 14
God people suck...what is so hard to grasp about the concept of staying home or keeping your semen demons home of any of you are sick? sorry OP hope y'all feel better soon. also if you know which one it was you should absolutely re-gift
DLBL 23
Oh no, that's awful. Please watch for signs of dehydration. If you can't keep any water down, you might want to call your doctor. Good luck.
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Comments (5)
DLBL 23
Oh no, that's awful. Please watch for signs of dehydration. If you can't keep any water down, you might want to call your doctor. Good luck.
jlc82 14
God people suck...what is so hard to grasp about the concept of staying home or keeping your semen demons home of any of you are sick? sorry OP hope y'all feel better soon. also if you know which one it was you should absolutely re-gift
GoogieWithers 25
It will pass. Mostly out of your ass, but it will pass.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Ugh, that's terrible. So sorry, OP. Nothing is more miserable. But four days seems way too long to have a stomach virus. It typically only lasts 24 hours, 48 tops. It may be time to consult a doctor... and then send the bill to the stupid parent who let their sick kid attend a party. I guarantee every kid at the party caught the virus and took it home.