Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next four hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I got a stomach bug. Then my three kids joined in like it was a team sport. My husband decided his actual soccer game was more important. FML
Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML
Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
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Top comments
unfortunate_13 5
this FML reminds me of a family guy episode :)
Stumblebum30 5
Not sure that required a trip to the ER. it was more than likely food poisoning and it will pass. obviously OP felt well enough to post on FML.
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Comments (54)
rawrkittehpwnage 0
ouch
gszmam 0
It's like that one episode of Family Guy
unfortunate_13 5
i already replied that, i just didn't feel the urge to respond that to the first post
gszmam 0
Looks like you got the urge to reply to it now.
Battledog5006 0
who wants chowder?
maddymxo 0
6 I was thinking that haha
ImsoMikhail 0
6 win lmao
OhWowFYLindeed 0
#6 Beat me to it... Sad face. :(
cooluc 0
we're* Please fix that, mods
Einstein714 0
did the wife make some bad sandwiches
dobiesFTW 1
tell your wife to get back in the kitchen and make better food next time
PoopTrainDix 0
nice English idiot. We're, not were.
r6_fml 4
that's what you get for making chicken tar tar
msyelowbubblegum 0
awww fun!!! haha family time thats cute.... haha sorry bout the vomiting at least u guys bonded! mean maybe u guys will look back at this and be like "haha you remember that time were we kept vomiting... so we had to go the ER" hmmm.. nevermind thats never guna happen haha wel sorry:P
Bekll 31
He also said "myself" instead of "I".
AboveTheRest 6
22, I'm sorry but are you like 12 years old? because you act like it.
iazy9 14
dinners ready!
princess711 0
my thoughts exactly ;)
twirliegirlie 0
whoa whoa wait what??.... u throw up so u go to the ER? that gets me an afternoon at home at most
mydgmax 0
haha sounds like the worst family activity you've ever had
heiiress 0
Ew
waterynuggets 0
Here comes the gospel according to puke!
unfortunate_13 5
this FML reminds me of a family guy episode :)
iDoiStuff 0
me too! http://idoistuff.com/
Eniiaffection 0
What a close family.
Secondine 0
your really cute 5 :)
redrovaa 0
your relle funy 47 :) HOW YA LIKE IT NOOWW.
chizl 0
On the web much? should of said. "You're picture looks good", because that could be a 300lb man using a pic he found on google image search.
youngrob 0
I'd beat those
WiseGuy79 14
The KFC family bucket meal strikes again lol
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
50: I see that you attempted to avoid making 46's mistake. However, you're still wrong. 46 should have used "you're", the shortened form of "you are", making the sentence read "you are really cute." You, on the other hand, needed the possessive form of the word "you", which is "your"-- not "You are picture looks really good," but "The picture that you have looks really good." Therefore, you should have said "Your picture looks really good." I'll leave the "should have" vs. the nonsensical "should of" discussion for another day.
riotgirlxx 0
Win.
twirliegirlie 0
it's not a spelling bee lil' miss dictionary
Secondine 0
Wow I can't even come on this site complementing someone without getting 'haters' good lord.
ThatSucksAlotYDI 0
TheIrishJaneDoe is full of win.
mydgmax 0
I think you'd make a good teacher:)
CheaRight 0
I love family bonding, really.
rockyraccoon28 8
um, nope, I wouldn't say that counts as a family "activity".
Eniiaffection 0
Well they're all doing something together, at the same time. I call that a family activity.
Sake3838 0
family misery more so
OreoHasFml 5
how were you all throwing up at the same time!?
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for poisoning your family with bad food.
Stumblebum30 5
Not sure that required a trip to the ER. it was more than likely food poisoning and it will pass. obviously OP felt well enough to post on FML.