Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
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Top comments
TweetAnne 13
What an electrifying moment.
pd2902 22
Talk about there being sparks in a relationship
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Comments (94)
TheClassicMan848 11
More like **** his life!
PrideOfTheFallen 19
Fuzzy socks? How old are you..
Rawrshi 25
Fuzzy socks don't discriminate.
steam_engenius 21
Hey, it's fuzzy sock season, man.
TheCookieComet 23
Age is only a number. >.>
Polynomial 28
My 32 year old fiance loves her fuzzy purple socks, with little rubber bumps for traction.
ThrottleJockey 36
Little rubber bumps? We're still taking about socks here, right?
chuchusheep 19
does it really matter how old they are???
JHamm2121 15
#18 No, it's not. It is never fuzzy sock season if you're older than 8.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Um, STFU #85. Fuzzy socks are amazing. :P
Subcontinent 14
I agree that fuzzy socks are amazing and all but I like to think I'd take them off for any kind of sexual activity
beeferjay 34
he wouldn't mind a shock, as long as you kissed it to make it all better
lexred 30
"Sparks will fly They ignite our bones(boner)" -Kygo.
CCRider 17
Good thing you weren't going to give him a *******...imagine how much worse it would have been if you had braces.
cakefete2 31
You light up his life, OP. Don't let it kill your buzz.
GORILLAKING7 7
I wonder if it was painful.
chuchusheep 19
hahahaha
fluffydress 2
Socks are no friend of sex. Ever. Just take them off.
dutchy86 20
did he like it!?
shortcake18 15
I bet he was ecstatic