Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
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Top comments
TweetAnne 13
What an electrifying moment.
pd2902 22
Talk about there being sparks in a relationship
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Comments (94)
KidYouFuckedOver 10
fried shrimp anyone?
thatsme293 28
Add this to the "life lessons I learned in high school" book.
revidffum69 22
You gave him a shocker. It's his turn to give you one. |
False_Stupidity 42
Yep, saw where this was going after the first sentence. Absolutely shocking thing to do!
sparky6996 2
must've been funny af haha
AScooterman 12
That is absolutely awesome he Musta jumped up a mile
sariberii 8
Hahaha!
shanal28 8
That must have been fun
addictionpool 10
I'm sorry op (here come the negative comments and the dislikes) but this just feels staged for a FML post. funny but still feels staged
midge777 12
He mustn't of been very ecstatic.