Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
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Top comments
TweetAnne 13
What an electrifying moment.
pd2902 22
Talk about there being sparks in a relationship
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Comments (94)
dyscomonkee 12
Kinda funny. Hopefully you guys could laugh about it after
lcuttie119 13
Haha, reminds me of when my boyfriend and I kiss. Sometimes as we start to kiss it shocks us. He just says that we still have sparks in our relationship
cookie1207 19
Wow! Thats shocking!
aldoshoes 4
Did no one else think the fuzzy socks thing was part of the procedure on first read through? like some sort of weird hairy hand-condom?
Elban 20
Haha yeah, next time do it and wear fuzzy socks
melons 44
Yes! I had to read it twice.
JHamm2121 15
@melons is there an actual plant that looks like ****?
Elban 20
eggplants can a little if you hold them upside down
SecundusSecunda 27
"Ah this feels so goo-hnnnnnng" *electricity sounds*
amsterdamgirl 20
I'm sorry, but that's hilarious! tell me you didn't giggle a little. .
ZaiopePerSe 15
Today, my girlfriebd decided it would be a good idea to give me a handjob while wearing fuzzy socks in our carpeted room. good news is she knows where my penis is, bad news is she shocked me
worldclassrager 41
Well now you know...it's a shocking surprise isn't it
HollyQuinn 21
That is amazing :') you will laugh about this later!
Lct1196 31
for a moment there I thought OP was wearing the socks on her hands and I was quite confused.
Polynomial 28
I love the visual.