Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML
Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
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Top comments
zach205 24
Well, your son has a future in the professionals
_kyleG_ 34
If his little, it sounds pretty adorable; if he's older, he's a strategic asshole.
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Comments (166)
sahmnc420 13
Sounds like someone needs a lesson in sportsmanship
metalcrazed 21
Poor kid,My dad used to say things like that about me constantly,I haven't talked to him in ten years. Just because he isn't good at sports is no reason to put him down. I spent nearly every moment with him dreading his next insult. Finally,I just didn't feel much of anything at all until I escaped. Parenting is about love not pain.
laden_swallow09 35
There's supporting, then there's babying. You didn't get support, even though you put forth an effort. OP's kid, on the other hand, was trying for the easy way out by faking injuries and taking an unfair advantage of a technicality. Shame on the child.
elsuperloco68 12
Hell Yeah!!! I 'll take that any day over screwing up and losing it for the team, he sounds like a winner.
lastiiii 9
he's a soccer flopper
superwhovian 16
You aren't being supportive. Plus he won the game. How old is your son?
superwhovian 16
His father still shouldn't have snuck out on his son he should teach him better
wierdDreams 10
Op ,how would you feel when your family member sneaks out as they dont want to be seen with you. What is worse here is you are not even ashamed you did it and you are going to tell your child that he was so terrible that he made you do this.YDI for being unsupporting parent
TomeDr 25
Try TEACHING him instead of being ashamed of him. That advice, by the way, applies to more than just soccer.
redheadedbabe420 14
Shame on you. as kid I couldn't be more happy when my parents showed up and cheered me on. it doesn't matter if he is good or not he is your child. help him and make him better.
JayVicious 20
i think it is being downvoted because OP's child was taking dives....which means he was faking injuries so the other team would have ti give them the ball...which is cheating. i get supporting your kid n all but you shouldnt encourage that.
hmrhoades 18
Do you really care THAT much about what other people think? He is your son and you shouldn't be calling him an idiot. Instead, you should try talking to him about the problem and show him that you'll always be there for him. If he is doing his best, you shouldn't really expect more from him.
Cathrin 26
For those of you saying "YDI for being unsupportive", what's happening is that the boy is deliberately faking being hurt in order to penalize the other team, getting him the win. He's nothing but a cheater and his father has every right to be ashamed.
hmrhoades 18
He should teach him better. Do you not see how this is failure on the father's part? The kid should be learning from him.
laden_swallow09 35
And how is the son supposed to learn anything by taking a lucky shot by doing exactly what he's NOT supposed to do? It's a pickle, either way.
JayVicious 20
even if he teaches him better, it doesnt matter if thats what is expected of him when he is on the field. believe it or not coaches will force their players to dive.
superwhovian 16
He should be teaching his son better not running away in shame