Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I got dragged into playing doubles tennis. It was me and my wife against her parents. I wound up hitting the ball too hard. My mother-in-law, who has the reaction times of a comatose turtle, got nailed. Everyone's convinced I did it on purpose because of our mutual hatred of each other. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML
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Top comments
SomeBossOnHere 5
Ouch... Holding a bit of a grudge huh?
FMLandurstoo 9
Just get out of the ******* way then!
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Comments (118)
SomeBossOnHere 5
Ouch... Holding a bit of a grudge huh?
Skittlepickle 13
Take his lacrosse stick and get some sweet revenge.
shellz102 12
Now that is what I call "tough love"
LookOnBrightSide 12
Scumbag dad seems to take lacrosse too seriously. I think he was more intent on getting revenge than on actually playing the game. You know what they say, it's not who wins or loses, but how you play the game. And OP, your dad plays like an asshole. I'm extremely sorry for your maniacal father, OP.
CaptTeemo 10
I don't even want to think what would happen of you took his lacrosse stick
Bekeliyr 10
Haha maybe he's just trying to toughen you up. But in all serious I hope you didn't get whacked by the stick or the ball cause those are so painful. Especially when you get nailed in the shin with a stick.
icrest80 4
He shouldnt be intentionally trying to hit her. A kid from my school last summer was hit in the chest with a lacrosse ball and he got a heart attack only to be saved by a defribulator. The trainer who used them had never even used them before
ItsPersonal 6
76-so you hope he didn't get hit with a stick or the ball but in the FML it states the OP got nailed in the heart eventually after repeatedly being aimed for...what the hell do you think he got hit with?
srgsk9 9
One of the reasons NYS coaches have to carry defibrillators now is because a kid in our Section was drilled in the chest with a lacrosse ball. His heart stopped, and the kid died at the scene. Tell your Dad he's a ******** for me.
anoellem 1
Sounds like you were being annoying... Sorry he handled it like that though.
_ebbonyy 11
i don't think 'being annoying' deserves a hard hit to the chest though! only in severe cases; and this does not seem worthy.
_ebbonyy 11
. I don't know why this posted too D:
kamikrazy 6
I think your dad wanted a boy. I'm just assuming.
iLickRainbows 2
Are you saying girls can't play lacrosse?!
PlasticSand 6
Wait, who said that?
dhbeaver 9
No, your just a dumbass. @ ilickrainbows
anoellem 1
No I don't think that deserves it either. That's why I said sorry he reacted that way.
KevinFlynn 13
how the hell was she being annoying?
The_Hitdude 12
Sounds to me like you were sulking in the corner, and you're leaving some things out of the FML. Regardless, FYL.
FMLandurstoo 9
Just get out of the ******* way then!
geerod22 5
Get out of the way of golf ball(ish) sized projectiles flying at your chest from random directions at insane speeds? Unless OP is Noor, she'd have a pretty tough time with that.
outch_fml 0
Plus it's freaking heavy, and i have seen people get knocked out when someone throws it at full speed towards the sideline knocking out a parent
iheartstewie7 5
4- your picture goes so well with your comment because Herbert has a walker xD
buck33 14
37 - it's barely smaller than a baseball. 41 - they aren't too heavy, but it is solid rubber and hurts terribly, especially taking shots. Trust me, in a defender. Haha.
t765234 10
63- Yeah, but it hurts them more when you crush them.
buck33 14
Crush them? Do you mean crush a defender? Impossible.
t765234 10
73- No, I mean crush the attackers, defense FTW.
buck33 14
Haha down with the attackmen! Crooked arrows ftw! By the way OP's dad is an idiot
skorka 5
So true.
TheKingsJester 5
It's a bit bigger than that.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
You love balls. Maybe it's a sign
benikki 0
This is a stupid thing to say.. Just iggnorant!!!
meihua 19
Don't see why your getting thumbed down- nice FML reference.
wallandpiece 16
If he was trying to pass it off as accidental, what the **** did he say he was aiming for?
danishbagel 3
Maybe a head-shaped goal.
YacL 15
Mature Dad is mature.
kandi_kid69 15
Immature dad is immature*
GawdamitNappa 4
Sarcastic comment is sarcastic
MysticKnight 3
Your mom is your mom
CryMoreFMLs 15
84 - Way to ruin all the fun...
Angel157 8
Wow! He sounds a little immature!!! Sorry
TheFamilyElf 17
I think you both sound like lovely people. F the lives of the rest of the people at the game that had to watch and listen to the two of you bitch at each other.
onlychildFTW 34
I'd take one of those lacrosse sticks and have it find his face a few times. But that's just my mean side showing through.
onlychildFTW 34
I'd take one of those lacrosse sticks and have it find his face a few times. But that's just my mean side showing through.
TheFamilyElf 17
I think you both sound like lovely people. F the lives of the rest of the people at the game that had to watch and listen to the two of you bitch at each other. Edit: sorry everybody, it wouldn't post the comment then it ended up posting twice. I feel awkward.