Intimacy: Scarred for life

Scarred for life

By Aly - 09/12/2011 15:40 - United States

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

agreeclassic 48 198

vote type 1 5 870

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At least it wasn't rotting coconut?

By Getmeoutofhere - 10/08/2017 17:15 - Australia

Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said, "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML

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Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

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Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

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Prepper

By suze44 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML

agreeclassic 45 263

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WCARlover 34

Friday 9 December 2011 18:47

I'll keep that in mind for when I have kids lol

kikiwi_fml 9

Friday 9 December 2011 18:47

Looks like your dad has it figured out.

Comments

wolleiy 3

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:20

Serves you right for thinking about sex!

Nevaal 3

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:31

Parenting done right. It's super effective!

thepurpleorange 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:33

Haha that was probably his goal XD

iBiteRoses 22

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:00

"If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this." ಠ_ಠ ^

polkadot3155 6

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:20

genius.

Notime4bull 4

Saturday 10 December 2011 1:57

Your dad will be immortalized for generations in the history books for creating the ultimate talk along with the ultimate contraceptive.

butterflyz1961 2

Saturday 10 December 2011 2:54

That was the whole point.

Takainthemachine 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 3:24

Ugh! Fyl

chels1994 11

Saturday 10 December 2011 3:51

Well, then he wins

The__Redneck 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 4:05

Your dad is a friggin' genius.

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Keywords

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