Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said, "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
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Top comments
pjsr 33
Not sure what a female would do with a coconut, but seems like that would have been better tbh.
jkjorn 18
Depends how you're viewing the site- on a web browser on my desk computer I can see a tiny little "female" icon next to the poster's name, but I don't think the app has that feature.
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Comments (22)
pjsr 33
Not sure what a female would do with a coconut, but seems like that would have been better tbh.
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Poontang! Usually, men like that smell, so you should be relieved he didn't in that context.
whackypaks 1
oh WOW u got BUSTED!!! ;-);-);-)
jkjorn 18
Props for the callback to the coco-nutting post!
Zanquis 22
Something smelled a bit fishy...
dharmaint 15
People saying female but there's no way of knowing
jkjorn 18
Depends how you're viewing the site- on a web browser on my desk computer I can see a tiny little "female" icon next to the poster's name, but I don't think the app has that feature.
smoothpanda 7
The app has it too
Chad D. Nelson 8
is there for the app as well
Andrew Alphons 4
I can see the tiny female icon on the app as well
EmDizzle2007 28
it does. it's actually a little bust of a female.
Lemou_fml 25
Why on earth would you be able to smell precum that strong smelling?
KrDizzy 16
Your dad smelled you masturbating? Does masturbation typically make a strong smell? I don't quite follow..
choslayer 20
when you cum it has a strong scent
Lemou_fml 25
In case you were wondering - women do in fact have a scent in a sexual context. When it comes to men, it's usually the semen itself, if it even smells.
lccc_ 18
thats so gross lmao. why wasnt your door locked?
tibtak01 8
Okay so I'm confused... what did he smell exactly?
thatsme293 28
Her cum
alucard724 9
her pussy
EmDizzle2007 28
it's weird to see so many people who don't understand that an aroused ****** gives off a certain scent. given that it's her DAD, I'm guessing he knows that scent fairly well.