Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML
Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML
Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
wesayxsummer 0
it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.
cady18 0
would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.
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Comments (199)
kagome_eb 0
what the hell! if you can speak english speak it! don' used other languages as an excused
dontworry_behapp 0
#45 Why don't you take your own advice?
mares_fml 0
haha hobowned is good. and your spanish sucks ass. if you don't have money, just tell them.
Rachel8894 0
it would make more sense if you spelled it right, and said it right. No hablo ingles. you said don't speak english... as a command.
stephfml 0
i think its funny that number 9 corrected the spanish grammar and did it wrong hahaha
fcuk_fml 0
oh my god!!! that's the funniest shit i've heard in a long time! i can't believe you actually said that! given, you were kind of an ass, but funny as hell. props.
mrcarmine 0
what a jerk, man. just be honest.
lazlow_fml 2
The first poster mentioned that the Spanish grammar was wrong.. why do so many people have to repeat it? I pretend to be French when people ask me for change - a 'no, sorry' usually just results in how they need 6Op for the bus. or some sob story about how they were just discharged from hospital with no insulin and they need £1 for chocolate... It's easiest in the long run.
wolfy_fml 5
I just say that I don't carry cash. ... Which is usually true. The only cash I have when I am asked, is the $10 cab fare I need to get home. Although once when I said that, the guy kept asking for me to give him some of my groceries. >__
Heatstreak 0
lol nice try though
xroflmaoxd 0
maybe if your spanish was decent you could get away with it its "No hablo ingles"