Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML
Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML
Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
wesayxsummer 0
it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.
cady18 0
would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.
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Comments (199)
Lila_fml 0
#55 is correct. Wow, lying to get out of giving some spare change to someone in need, low. If you don't want to next time try "no" insted of insulting a language and someone you clearly though was an idiot all at the same time.
MEGAJOSH 0
I never give money to bums. Why throw away money so that they can go buy drugs/alcohol and ********** in alleys?
dragon_fml 0
I don't understand why everyone is going harsh correcting the spelling. "no habla engles" could just be the way the person is pronounced or typed it sarcastically. if the guy was a bum, I agree with #57. majority of them are lazy, they need to get an education and find a job (excluding the handicapped). I think it can be believable because my mom doesn't speak english yet she tries to study by reading the newspaper or a book while riding the train, and looking up the vocabulary while she gets home to improve.
fmylifeaddict25 0
Might be more believable if you spoke proper Spanish. I use this line a lot with telemarketers, but I make sure to use one of the languages I actually speak well.
audiogasmic 0
haha asshole that's what you get.
cmabes05 0
To all of you idiots who are trying to make the big deal about him saying "engles" over "ingles." When he PRONOUNCES the word, using the "i." instead of the "e." makes no difference. Retards..
justjayit 0
#61, regardless of the two words sounding the same anyway, he still didn't know proper spanish because he couldn't type it correctly. Also, he said "habla" instead of "hablo," which means, "[he/she/(formal) you] doesn't speak english." Dude, you failed and why don't you just straight up tell those kinds of people to get a job or something instead of trying to be a smartass about it?
BrainHaynis 0
Too all the people correcting the Spanish, who cares, it couldve been a typo
randki 0
Who cares what he thinks, next time just tell him NO. It doesn't make you any worse of a person, and in fact a lot of homeless use your guilt to get money out of you. I work hard for my money, and when I feel like giving, I give to organizations for those mentally impaired, child welfare or people hurt by war, rape, etc. A guy who is able to walk around asking for money, is better than most of the people helped by those in the organizations I mentioned (with the exception of those homeless who are obviously mentally impaired.
_kaitlin 0
Because you couldn't have just said, "No, I don't, sorry", or, I don't know, decided to be nice and give him some change that you probably won't be using anyway? You deserved to look like a dumbass, because you are, and I'm glad that guy called you out on it.