Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML
Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML
Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
wesayxsummer 0
it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.
cady18 0
would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (199)
spockezri 0
You used "habla," the el/ella/usted (or he/she/you (formal)) form instead of "hablo" the yo (i) form.
sagittaurus 0
61 - do you speak spanish? like at all? 'i' makes the short i of english speaking, and 'e' makes a sort of abbreviated 'a' sound... to everyone who's been asking why the incorrect grammar is such a huge deal: the way i see it, the OP could have at least respected the language he was using to be a douche. =)
streetpattern 0
Once, at a low point in my life, some guy approached me on the street in NY to ask for money. I turned on him furiously, but quietly, and raged that I didn't have any money, and I didn't know where my next meal was coming from. His response was actually quite reasonable. He said: "How was I to know that?"
DStro 0
No hablo, no hablo..
SunlightVeins 0
You could have tried to convince him that you can read English but not speak it.
fuckkkkk_fml 0
*no hablo ingles* that would have been more believable.
Kitty34_fml 0
I'm surprised the OP got so many YDIs. I sometimes pretend to only speak French on the bus when crazies talk to me. Usually, they move on to the next person. You probably should have hidden the paper, or maybe pretended you weren't reading it? If it was just a man asking for change, I would have said I didn't have any or given him whatever I had. But if he seemed dangerous, I would have pretended to not speak English.
ACDCfan 0
It's: No HABLO ingles. You need to use correct spanish grammer. The conjugation needs to be in the "yo" form. Learn to speak spanish BEFORE you go around telling a lie.
nazooer 11
Okay, so someone who doesn't speak spanish spelled something wrong, look at all the spanish people spelling/pronouncing english wrong and go bug them
24788 7
Just say no next time! Don't try to be nice to a beggar.