Today, a man on the train asked me if I had any change. I quickly responded with, "No habla ingles." He then tapped me on the shoulder and said, "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML
Today, while riding the subway a homeless man got on asking for money. I went to give him a dollar but he refused because I was "of the Asian persuasion." FML
Today, a gorgeous woman on a train told her friend she thought I was hot in Spanish, assuming I was a dumb gringo tourist. In fact, I speak Spanish fluently, my wife is Colombian, and she was standing right next to me. My wife can’t rationalize my street value, and made me sleep on the fold out. FML
Today, I was chatting to a cashier I see quite a lot, trying to be as charming and as unsmarmy as possible. When she asked if I wanted the receipt, I panicked and said, "No thanks, I don’t believe in paper." She looked at me like I was an alien. FML
Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML
Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
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Top comments
wesayxsummer 0
it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.
cady18 0
would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.
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Comments (199)
wesayxsummer 0
it would also be more believable if you used correct grammar.
yake12 0
u mean like "no hablo ingles."? ya that's what I was thinking too
pimpyd1 0
don't b a Jew next time and give him some change
twinscrplayer6 0
yeah I was like if your gonna b an asshole atleast know how to say it write.
extremekiwi 0
lol habla. he's just like no I don't speak Spanish, why?
MusicXisXii 0
#118 - If you want people to say things RIGHT, then you should also say things RIGHT. Not 'write' but 'right'
iluvhobos 5
you mean 'right' ? hypocrite.
gabii1fred 0
It's : No hablo inglés . - sincerely girl from Puerto Rico which first language IS spanish.
SittingInTheSky 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ahem, #108, they might've been a girl, therefore it would've been "HABLA" Bitch.
SittingInTheSky 6
*going to **at least ***right
RaquelRox2299 0
#143, they r right. It is always hablo even if it was a girl. So I think ur the biatch now...
CutieFail 0
#143 - Hablo is the first-person, singular form of hablar. It has nothing to do with gender, it's a verb.
123ev456 5
He's correct; "hablo" is personal, and "habla" would only be used for he/she/it.
jooliaboolia 6
"no hablo Ingles"
leticiax3 0
#119 no he said " no he/she speaks english" dumbass.
Link5794 18
It could also be "you speak" depending on what dialect is being used and to whom OP was talking.
mn_shr 22
Habla actually means "silly girl" in Arabic
smartypants9 15
I love when people try to make someone look bad, and end up looking like a dumbass moron because they're wrong in their correction. Yes, I'm talking to you #143. You need to go back to school. *shakes head*
czyk_it 5
No it wouldn't. When referring to oneself in the present tense one says 'hablo'. "Yo no hablo inglés" is the most technically correct way to say 'I don't speak English' but the 'yo' is generally implied so as pointed out "no hablo inglés" is valid. "No habla inglés" translates as "he/she does not speak English".
TechnicallyWrong 12
It would also be useful to know when to use the word "right"
FMLworthy5000 21
#118 Clever pun, bad timing
daken96 21
Engles. Is it pronounced like eggls but with an N? I did not know this Spanish word! Also, habla is in reference to a he/she. The correct way to say it is, "No hablo ingles." (I know it has an accent mark. Keyboard doesn't allow that option.)
missvictoria_fml 0
Basically.
cady18 0
would've also been more believable if you spoke correct spanish.
mrlopez 13
No hablo Inglés
kyliebear 15
they said it right, they just didn't know how to type it on the Internet.
emorockerownage 9
douche bag thats what you get
holynemesis1208 3
owned
Chris968 0
That's why I bring my Ipod on the train because then I can just pretend I don't hear them lol
tortise34 4
but then dont they tap u on the shoulder asking for change/tickets or whatever it is??
sillypun 0
I live between a Veterans Affairs Hospital and a liqour store so I see bums pretty much constantly. No need to ignore them or feel shame for them or treat them like anything less than a human being. When anyone I dont know asks me for money, I look em in the eye and say "nope." Excuses are bullshit. Ignoring is bullshit.
Aera_fml 0
Wow. It's "no hablo ingles" (accent on the e). Good job, dumb-dumb. Anyways, what's wrong with saying, "I like my money, so no"?
gracevet88 0
The last part was bad but ur right about the language part
whitneysuzanne94 0
would have been believable maybe if you actually talked right. habla- hablo engles- ingles
thatbritkid 0
Habla because inglés is feminine lol
frogchic8 5
Verbs don't have genders.. Habla means she/he speaks. Hablo means I speak. If you try to correct someone, at least be right.
skatingweasel 0
thats when you also learn to say "I just like the pictures" if they ere pictures on the page.
Dylan94_fml 8
like he could say that in Spanish if he can't even get what he did say correct xD
zbug 6
Funny thing is ,it really won't matter if he/she gets it right, just sound like like they know it. If the person could notice the error then they probably will embarrass the person by asking for change IN Spanish.