Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I was walking through the grocery store with my new baby daughter, when an old woman came up to me and spat, "If you whores would keep your legs together, you wouldn't be a mom at fifteen." I'm eighteen. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML
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Top comments
McMan 23
And if she kept her mouth shut she wouldn't look like an asshole and a moron.
allmidnighteyes 11
You could've replied with, "And if your mother kept her legs closed, you wouldn't be such a ****." Also, someone who's fat looks very different from someone who's pregnant. Not only is she a bitch, she's a stupid bitch. She needs to look at her life, and look at her choices.
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Comments (201)
olbrocko 0
that's usually what I say to most pregnant chicks.
EmoGiana 0
But then you'll sound like a fat as*.
Jenny_jen_fml 0
what a bitch
volleyballchick9_fml 0
u should have told her to **** herself cuz that's the only action she will ever get
kiTTi333 6
I would have hit her across the face & said why do you care if I was or not, my pussy not yours.
lmj6563 0
dayum that suxx girl. u shudv said "after you"(:
HarlemzAngelita 0
ur just fat lol
vlcardenx3 0
im actually not. i look 6 weeks pregnant but im not fat or overweight.
brem03 0
You should have said "But Daddy wants a baby girl this time". Them when she passed out in the floor, you should have peed in her!
SayPeanuts 29
Erm..you're not super good at the whole making a joke thing, are you?
taurusxdee 10
so she was mad that you're "pregnant?" is that really a reason to glare at someone?! lmao what a bitchslutwhore she was.
Punkpoptart1119 20
For some reason, people just don't care what they say to others anymore. It's like 'I'm gonna say something completely out of line and not care if the person is hurt by it or not'. And everyone feels like they need to be all up in other peoples business. I would've said 'And maybe if you weren't such a bitch, you would realize that I'm not pregnant.' And then reported her to mall security for harassment. She'll get hers in due time. Sorry you had to go though that OP. FYL.