Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was standing on a balcony smoking a cigarette when I noticed a woman giving me strange looks. When I put the cigarette out and went to walk inside she said "You shouldn't smoke while you're pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Today, I was walking through the grocery store with my new baby daughter, when an old woman came up to me and spat, "If you whores would keep your legs together, you wouldn't be a mom at fifteen." I'm eighteen. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, the local gossip was in line behind me at the shop. She saw me buying pregnancy tests. The good news is that I'm not pregnant. The bad news is that she'll definitely have everyone thinking I am. FML
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Top comments
McMan 23
And if she kept her mouth shut she wouldn't look like an asshole and a moron.
allmidnighteyes 11
You could've replied with, "And if your mother kept her legs closed, you wouldn't be such a ****." Also, someone who's fat looks very different from someone who's pregnant. Not only is she a bitch, she's a stupid bitch. She needs to look at her life, and look at her choices.
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Comments (201)
McMan 23
And if she kept her mouth shut she wouldn't look like an asshole and a moron.
marmlr339 14
lol. true
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol she should have totally said that
meowmeowwkitty 0
TRUE DAT.
kktik 8
u r rite.... lol
allmidnighteyes 11
You could've replied with, "And if your mother kept her legs closed, you wouldn't be such a ****." Also, someone who's fat looks very different from someone who's pregnant. Not only is she a bitch, she's a stupid bitch. She needs to look at her life, and look at her choices.
PYLrulz 17
You could've replied with, "And if your mother kept her legs closed, you wouldn't be such a ****." Winner!!!!!
brycereid 0
winning
Elphieba 4
Pretty sure #3 said that.
i_love_grrr 0
he was quoting number 3
ReynshineCutting 10
Not necessarily. I look pregnant but I'm just fat lol. It's all in my belly.
spoo 24
I wish I had the wit for comebacks like this when these confrontations happen.
MJ_Goobs_Xx 0
I agree
whenitsallburnin 0
I don't think that's entirely true. Some girls bodies don't fill out everywhere when they gain weight. They'll stay skinny everywhere else and get that little "pooch" belly. Easily mistaken. But, it doesn't change the fact that the lady was a self-righteous, bigot, bitch.
kiTTi333 6
couldnt have said it better
JennaMason 6
what a bitch.
m21roberto 0
thats a babe right there ;D
youngclench 0
yeah you're hot :$
techweed 12
yeah I'd have told her "none of ur f*cking business"
zypher399 0
calm down guys she's only 16 maybe in a couple years.
PwningLamp1 0
your hottttt!!!!
funnyFMLSplz 0
lmfao 85 she is pretty lol
jess6blondie9 3
I agree, she is very pretty!
j_cat187 20
126 telatuby on wipits?
joecool715 0
true
kylehawkkelly 0
fer sure
joerider006 4
maybe she was crazy and when she got near her she lost it.
mrrapper 0
Jenna let's hook up.
itsxbabyxjay 0
She's fake.
PotatoBlankey39 2
ha ha, the first three responses this are the best EVER! Sorry you dealt with a bitch. Just wait... her time will come.
mola_mola 3
what if you're raped?
john7h567hgrd 0
Yup, that woman is a ****. And I hate when people give condescending advice when its none of their business. furthermore, even if she was pregnant how does she know that she didn't do it on purpose?
Zebidee 9
Exactly! For all the woman knows, OP could be in a stable, completely straight-down-the-line God-fearing marriage and have planned her non-existent pregnancy! I have a friend who is a 30-ish mature-age student at university, and she used to get crap all the time about being pregnant. People used to ask her who was going to help her raise the baby. Her answer "Um, the father..." People are idiots that can't mind their own business. When you meet such a person, ignore them, and praise Jeebus that you'll wake up in the morning and not be them.
allmidnighteyes 11
OP's profile says she's 13... But that's beside the point.
Zebidee 9
Nah, good point - I'd missed that. In that case, the opposite applies - you'd think you'd give a 13 year-old the benefit of the doubt. My theory that people are idiots still stands.
bachooka 5
I got pregnant at sixteen... people really think it's helpful to get on your case about it... they would be like "oh my god! you're life is over! raising a baby is so hard by yourself! you'll never finish highschool!" First of all, telling me getting pregnant was a bad idea isn't going to magically make me unpregnant. Second of all, I moved in with my boyfriend at the end of my pregnancy, we had two more babies over the course of me finishing my highschool (because we didn't want to have our kids super far apart) and we got married almost a year after I turned 18. People need to mind their own business... And if you really were pregnant, that person is extra stupid for pissing of a hormonal pregnant lady.
Bates621 0
I was overweight when ten and got kicked off of a ride at the county fair because the operator thought I was pregnant.
5t3ff1k4h 45
You know, most of the time, there's a clear difference between an overweight, protruding belly and a pregnant woman's belly. Jeez. You'd think people would start to clue in to that fact.
TayonaC 10
yeah this sub did that to my friend. she's a girl but looks exactly lika a boy I mean if you didn't know her and she had on glasses or something you wouldn't know but the sub called her a boy 3 times 1: accident 2 and 3: she said she knew she was a girl but didn't care because she looked like a boy so she will be called one it was really rude
HSOMGF 5
This world would be a much better place if people would just mind their own business. I would have told her to **** off.
Quasar55_fml 18
Some people in this world seriously need to mind their own ******* business. And what the hell is wrong with being pregnant ? It's not AIDS !
Bobissmall 13
What's wrong with people who have AIDS?
Quasar55_fml 18
I meant that being pregnant is not a major disease she got by having unprotected sex
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
what's wrong with people who have AIDS? their immune system is shot and they can die from the common cold along with any other slight infection.
Bobissmall 13
I don't think you get it 94... i was making fun out of how he had wrote his comment as if there was something wrong with people who had aids, as if they should be avoided or something.
boatkicker 5
I don't think #10's point had anything to do with the people in the situations, and a lot more to do with the situations themselves. Pregnancy can be a blessing. Can you think of even one case where having AIDS is a good thing?
Calingaladha 21
@30 HIV can also be transmitted from mother to child. It's not just unprotected sex.
Stupidpeopleanno 5
You should have thoroughly beat her ass and then said " now if you kept your mouth shut you wouldn't be in critical condition, getting ready to be sent to the ICU".
Mirorbo 27
Why can't people just mind their own business?