Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML
Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML
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Top comments
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
You should've told her you were santa and that because she hurt your feelings, she's going on the naughty list next year.
IBelongToJeebus 0
Bitch went there.
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Comments (122)
vannahbaby420 0
Wow I'm sorry for u op......
dirtroadboy 7
Maybe its time to make a new years resolution... or karma will be a bitch and the kid will end up 250 pounds by age 16
GoW_Chick 15
I'm hoping karma takes a stab at this one ... Though karma is brutal.
gojira666 7
Boom! Roasted!
eyeIoveyou 4
she doesn't deserve karma, she's just a little girl who didn't know that was rude :3
BarDownDaily 12
Well, are you?
ihasbrains 10
That's how my sister learned that men don't get pregnant.
littlegold 7
That really sucks someone did that to my mother... She decided to go up to the kid... Laugh and say "im just super fat!" lol. It was the funniest thing... You should have done that.
tatababe 1
I think you just found a new years resolution!
btnhdude 0
That had to hurt, stay strong dude.
nattynatters 14
Ok. When women get mistaken as pregnant FML tells her to get her ass on a treadmill. When a man gets it it's "stay strong dude?" WTF.
kenny26f 19
Because a woman isn't allowed to be overweight apparently. It's total BS.
afcrewchief 4
OP is a guy. It shows the person's gender when you click to the comments.
iamabamf 17
78-OP made it quite clear in the FML that he was a man, and like 79 said, it shows the gender. Nice try though.
ihasbrains 10
73 - I don't think anybody should be overweight, unless they have a medical condition or a legitimate excuse to be overweight. Laziness does not count.
ChadAvreySchilli 0
To 83, I agree, although I'm aiming to be slightly over weight, but my dangerously or unnatractivley over
ICATiger 13
Well shes only a child......
darien987 1
That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt...
Random_Person88 8
Kids can be cruel. Sorry OP
lalalambaabaa 3
A four year old asked me that one day. I'm not even overweight.
emily232 0
What?
IBelongToJeebus 0
Bitch went there.
graham11 14
4- oh snap! No she di'nt!!
rscott11 0
Haha
secrono 0
loose some pounds bitch!
IBelongToJeebus 0
*Lose. GODDAMNIT!
fancyclown 9
Way to put it nicely.
StoryOfTheYear 15
You have a "loose" O key I see.
beccac_boresfoff 9
It happens.. :)
Kirlyfoo 9
I love the hitler version of your picture.
SecretMe00 5
Kids say the darnedest things
cupcake1072102 0
Lol that's just the way kids are!
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
You should've told her you were santa and that because she hurt your feelings, she's going on the naughty list next year.
friedchickenpie 14
I would thumb up your comment, but then it wouldn't be 69 anymore... So, thumbs up!
Kirlyfoo 9
There i thumbed it down
Funnywayz 0
Well, does he have a white beard?
catsclaw97 0
That would have been awesome!
notsorandomguy 18
"Ma'am, is that child trisomic?"
DustyStorm 16
Having one chromosome in addition to the usual diploid amount.... Chances of anyone knowing this and finding it humorous?
xStaciexLynnx 15
Not likely to be found funny since trisomy is most common on the 21st pair, giving a child trisomy 21, which is down syndrome. Which is not funny at all.
margie2194 12
Could be trisomy of the sex chromosome example (XXY) which is somewhat funny... and sad.
DKjazz 20
Yeah, I get where you were going with that. A nice comeback if it weren't such a downer.
notsorandomguy 18
Nice pun, 102.
KittySaysMoo 6
Am I the only one confused here? ._.
Jakesterk96 8
Gotta love geometry :)
FYLDeep 26
What an opportune time for her to say that. Now you can reevaluate the contents of your grocery cart.