Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I saw a man dump a bag of trash into the creek. Furious, I shouted at him, and when he shoved me, I threw him into the creek. Later, I was arrested and charged with battery. FML
Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML
Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML
Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML
Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML
Today, I discovered that my old roommate had left a full bag of cat litter on my porch and all over my yard. FML
Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML
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Top comments
sousaphonist 14
Fight it. Get a good lawyer that's willing to counter-sue (hell, you really should've sued first anyways).
Thor1012 28
Wow I'd be sending new guy the bill! What was he thinking?
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Comments (20)
Thor1012 28
Wow I'd be sending new guy the bill! What was he thinking?
sousaphonist 14
Fight it. Get a good lawyer that's willing to counter-sue (hell, you really should've sued first anyways).
lil_miss_aries 4
File a report against him. That's ridiculous, I'm sorry!
raven_of_azarath 35
Please tell me the pun was intended.
praahe 10
Yeah, you need to sue the hell out of them.
crackpotL 33
Jesus, what type of building do you live in?
species4872 20
No doubt he thought you were on the other team and had the ball. Seriously that's ****** up. He could have least verbally challenged you first.
WardenWolf 26
Time to sue. Seriously, get a lawyer, OP.
manofmerr 27
To be fair to the security guard, he did fight in the cat wars, and has a unique form of ptsd now. If someone so much as says cat litter, he instictively reaches for the water gun he used to carry to ward of the endless hoards. But to see a actual bag of it!? It's no wonder he tackled op. And now he's probably barricaded himself in a room untill the cat litter is cleaned up. So really, the guard is the one we should feel sorry for.
Punkpoptart1119 20
What the actual **** is wrong with people?! I would get a lawyer, go up to the leasing office, and let them know you're planning to sue. That guy should be fired. FYL OP. I hope things work out.