Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML
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Top comments
ILoveMyArm 15
She doesn't seem very qualified for the job...
bondgirl69 5
She might be into more freakier stuff like answering boring questions
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Comments (113)
JanisEvans 10
If she's generally not into blow jobs, YDI. If she usually is fine with them her reaction seems odd.
Omniprism 15
Well she's no fun. I guess if she doesn't control it then she doesn't like it. I wouldn't role play anymore unless you guys have a serious conversation about it. Good luck.
FrankHotpants 31
What happened? I thought it was going well, even had the **** music in my head while reading it lol.
Wakachulak 22
Lets be fair, you were a pig. There are smoother ways to request a new hire to give you a ********. Not that I would know of course
TogeBara 12
Tell her you want to try again, but instead of trying to get some, try to give some. This sort of roleplay would go with the interviewer coming onto the girl, not asking for a bj.
Sheh_fml 25
Some people just aren't into dirty talking. Or for that matter, ********.
lwonderful 11
How the hell is this sexual harassment. It's ROLEPLAY with HIS GIRLFRIEND and SHE wanted to do this
aboelmagd 18
Fired before getting hired.
EmmaMcknight85 5
omg hahahahs
caffeineneko45 8
Maybe she understood what OP meant, and that was why she wanted to stop.