Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ILoveMyArm 15
She doesn't seem very qualified for the job...
bondgirl69 5
She might be into more freakier stuff like answering boring questions
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
ChakatBlackstar 29
Sometimes, roleplaying gets a little too realistic.
randm_dude 9
At least she did not introduce her extramarital affair as the lawyer representing her case of sexual harassment. xd
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol the hell? Then what was the use of roleplaying if she can't play along? Time to find a new girlfriend.
lauraxcupcake 12
id dump her for not understanding what it takes to have an interesting rp
Poetaster 10
Offer her a job "handling" the boss's "private" matters
Axel5238 29
I think the gf wanted the role play it like he was suggestively hitting on her and work up to fooling around not what came out which was essentially blow me. Hopefully she'll be twilling try again.
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
Well? Did she get the job?
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
Edit
maximus_prime 24
No, and OP didn't get his ******** either.
maximus_prime 24
No, and OP didn't get his ******** either.
cristy91 33
"What would you say your biggest flaw is?"
twinkiefeets 17
She doesn't play well.
CrissyyyS2 22
What a tease.