Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML
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Top comments
ILoveMyArm 15
She doesn't seem very qualified for the job...
bondgirl69 5
She might be into more freakier stuff like answering boring questions
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Comments (113)
neonstarr 15
Due to the amount of quality applications we've received I'd like to inform you that we will be not taking your application any further. We feel that you do not have the required people skills to work within a team environment.
Burgleflickle 8
Should have just given her the job lol
kayden_14 13
At least she didn't get side tracked and start asking questions like "Describe a time that you proved yourself as a leader". Still awkward though!
termin8tor786 10
Dump her!!!
HeartOfLead 24
Great, now your never gonna hear the end of it from the HR committee (Honorary Roleplay committee).
kasmol 16
Does this mean you are now free to interview other applicants?
ssvaghasia 5
perhaps ur wife needs to watch some **** lol
TheModernPatriot 14
Sounds like she's got her nose stuck too high in the air. Maybe one day when she really needs the job she'll be willing lol
Smo0chin 14
I'm guessing she'll be scoring low on the long term relationship scale
shivafloof 5
Roleplay is all about fantasy. Being told to give someone a ******* = not really anyone's fantasy. Sorry. YDI for thinking about yourself instead of what your gf would want.
SneezyBear 27
#76 you DO realise that 30-60% of women actually ENJOY being dominated in some way/to some extent in the bedroom (according to MANY surveys), and while for many women it may not go as far as a full-blown rape fantasy, being told to give a ******* fits well into that category. Why do you think Fifty Shades of Grey, a book about BDSM and rape and whips and chains, is so RIDICULOUSLY popular among women even though the writing style is god awful? Role-playing by nature involves suggesting and then participating in sexual activity. It's not just men who enjoy giving oral - if you think that you're a sexist idiot - plenty of women do too. You must be either painfully stupid, incredibly ignorant and judgemental, or making some very poor attempt at a joke. /rant
dogpup4 23
Both people are supposed to enjoy themselves, not just the woman. It's not like he couldn't have returned the favour afterwards anyway.