Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ILoveMyArm 15
She doesn't seem very qualified for the job...
bondgirl69 5
She might be into more freakier stuff like answering boring questions
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
ILoveMyArm 15
She doesn't seem very qualified for the job...
friedpwnadge 25
Guess she didn't meet the oral qualifications, maybe some desk work would help.
Poetaster 10
Ha!
Uramonkey 11
Reading - Pass Writing - Pass Oral Communication - Fail
iBanana 17
I guess I'll be that guy. Oral cummunications.
hemz_fml 13
#59 you're awesome! Lol
hemz_fml 13
Why was my comment moderated? I called #59 awesome and I don't see how complimenting someone is an act of aggression.
ViRepz 28
Sexual Harassment is a no-no!
PterodactylMan 23
That sucks for OP then #2
xlord 27
Harassment? More like her-ass-meant to be on my lap!!!
hcollins1 18
If it was an ACTUAL job, and not the girlfriend asking her boyfriend to do some role playing then yes, it would be sexual harassment. But since SHE'S the one that wanted to role play, then no it's not. Sexual harassment.
CaiDog 20
#24, for this thread and for one of the threads you commented on below, I think the people meant that in the roleplay, the boss sexually harrassed the applicant, and that's why the girlfriend, getting into her role, called him a pig and stormed out.
hcollins1 18
40, the FML also stated that after the girlfriend called him a pig and stormed out, the role play ended. And I'm assuming, and I may be wrong, by the way people are commenting are thinking OP is sexually harassing her. I was just saying that she's the one that wanted to role play in the first place but ended it when OP acted as a soon to be boss.
CaiDog 20
Yeah, I guess that could be true. The way I saw it is that angry birds guy was joking about the sexual harassment displayed in the roleplay. But I could be wrong, also
feelingold 18
folks, 2 is clearly joking -- breathe, remove sticks from asses, proceed.......
danadana211 8
Asshole
MoeGro 6
Someone doesn't know what role-playing is?
feelingold 18
I can't help imagining all your comments in Ron Burgundy's voice. Hilarious. Well done sir, well done.
bondgirl69 5
She might be into more freakier stuff like answering boring questions
BntyHntrSeattle 30
"Copy those documents for me." "Ooooh, you dirty dirty guy!"
jojimugo 20
#13 giggidy
meggieeee92 15
I guess she doesn't understand the concept of role playing. Now you know that that doesn't really work for you guys! Better luck next time!
Uramonkey 11
luck -> *****. How you miss this obligatory stuff woman??
sematariux 7
50 be quiet, your virginity is showing
amDes 11
Sexual harassment is never OK in the work place, and I guess nether is it OK in a sexual role play. Shame on you OP!
hcollins1 18
You do know that's what role play is for right? So they can play out their fantasies, whatever it may be. Like oh I don't know, the naughty school teacher, or in this case the boss or soon to be boss. So no, it is not sexual harassment. It will only be harassment if she did NOT want to do anything and had said no and he still continued, but she's the one that wanted to do it in the first place.
Jellybean22 14
She is obviously not that great at role play
Blackcatluck 19
Well duh it's grumpy cat. When ever you ask her to do something new the answer is always just "No"
oxygenius 14
I'm pretty sure #6 is being sarcastic.
amDes 11
Relax #28 it was a joke, #63 got it
angeluv_2014 22
I love how this somehow turned into a convo. between cats.
challan 19
You might be hearing from her imaginary lawyer now.
Sinistra_Blue 12
OP's imaginary lawyer should counter-sue.
sematariux 7
Dear god, it'll end up in imaginary court, this is going to be a fake disaster.
Coolet90 7
lol I think your suppose to flirt or ask how bad she wants the job and or what would she do for it.. lol
KinkyCurly 13
Yeah start off slow
TheJawsman 18
If she wasn't interested in the dirty talk, she should have never suggested it....just sayin'
Queensland 27
The way I read it was that in some way she interpreted that as eating food, therefore he's hinting she's fat? I may be wrong though.
challan 19
#68 you may be Op's girlfriend. wow. How can I put this delicately? Hmmm... he actually wants her fat. Off of Italian sausage with extra protein packed sauce. You know, licked like a fat girl licks an ice cream cone.
sematariux 7
83, you're making my hairection show... Stop it
olpally 33
I don't think she understands what role play means. What an idiot.
RawrImaDragon 18
I think she understands, she just didn't want to give him a ******* right from the start.