Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to role-play non-consensual sex. I was already uncomfortable with the idea, and when she started begging, "No, no" as I stripped her, I dropped the role-play and walked out. Now she's pissed at me. I'm sorry, but this is fucking creepy. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to roleplay as a sexy nun, then dumped me, claiming my saying yes meant I was attacking her catholic faith and that I’m a sick, depraved criminal. She was the one who offered. I’m not remotely interested in roleplay, I only agreed cause I thought it was her kink. FML
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Top comments
ILoveMyArm 15
She doesn't seem very qualified for the job...
bondgirl69 5
She might be into more freakier stuff like answering boring questions
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Comments (113)
chosha_fml 27
Next time just ask if she has any special skills not listed on her resume that she'd like to demonstrate. No harassment there to upset her.
sematariux 7
26, LOL... You made my night
superman3212 8
oink oink WERRRRRT..
seahawksfan900 11
Well atleast she didn't blow it...
cxex 23
You made a sexist comment, she got angry about it and yet it's HER fault? Right.
SneezyBear 27
Yes, because suggesting to your partner in a roleplay to give you head is TOTALLY sexist. I really don't understand some people...
coytle 0
What he failed to mention is that his girlfriend never asked to do bedroom roleplay. She had an interview and to prepare she asked him to help roleplay an interview. His mind jumped to sex and all he heard was roleplay. . Or not. I wouldnt doubt it though.
SneezyBear 27
"Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay". I'ma repeat that again, cuz you clearly missed it the first time you read it. "Today, my girlfriend CONVINCED me to do some BEDROOM roleplay." You either fail at reading comprehension or are a judgemental idiot, thinking he MUST have concluded it was sexual when it 'really' wasn't - tell me, how do you know this, hmm? Is it because he's a man? Are you sexist as WELL as stupid?
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
He said his girlfriend CONVINCED him to do BEDROOM. ROLEPLAY. I am very sorry (LOL nope) but I have never heard of a job interview being held in a bedroom. And if that has ever happened, well, that's the wrong type of job to be investing any thought in.
Winterizer 2
I think she was applying for a different kind of job.
kenjenkei 32
She is definitely doing it wrong. :p
Euphrates 10
she is not being hired for the job!!!
melkymac101 17
I think I just got turned on