Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, it's my 6-year anniversary with my fiance, but due to a lot of different family issues, I had to drive 9 hours with my dad to go visit them. Long story short, there was a giant argument about bread, my dad stormed out and I'm left to deal with this shit storm. FML
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Top comments
BassGirl 5
Fat ass dog ftw!
needleinmypants_fml 3
well you can't bond more than discussing old pubes!
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Comments (129)
xcrunner_725 4
haters gunn' hate on az.
Arcanite 0
I wish you luck your gonna need it.
allmidnighteyes 11
You're coming to Arizona. We still have In N Out here. Not a FML.
ZeroMachine 3
So, your life is an indie film?
Daveyysmile 1
I live in Arizona. Sucks here.
MyFirstKiss 0
WHAT FUN!!!!!
macbethhh 0
haha dad talking about pubes = decimated
AliceC_fml 3
wow, way to be a dick. AZ isnt such a bad place, I live there. and I am in no way racist. I know that you were referring to the immigration bill. but you really should shut your mouth when you're just an ignorant prick who has no idea what they're talking about. so. fail. good job.
Rianokami 22
Yeah, It wasn't our fault the governor passed that stupid law. But everyone else in the country blames us. *shrugs*
misslittlelady 0
wooh! i live in az. if you drive through flagstaff there's gonna be lots of rain :)
jtrain80 0
so that was your family I saw the other day