Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML
Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my best friend and I got in a fight, and we have a 3 hour drive back home together. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
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Top comments
_kyleG_ 34
I mean at least you're going somewhere ni... Yeah, uh, sorry OP.
ModernZelda 19
Might want to invest in some nice noise-cancelling headphones for the next road trip.
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Comments (48)
WhoopteDo 26
No phone or iPod to listen to music with? I'm so sorry you had to sit through that... Good luck getting home..
JazzHandsFML 28
I say sit in the bed of the truck. you can't hear them over Wind and you have a higher chance of dying, the only way to get the ball chafing stories out.
FluffyPandas156 13
Well at least least she knows there's a an upcoming new radio station to listen to (sarcasm)
dragonkisses28 25
In most states, riding in the back of an unenclosed pickup truck is illegal. Go for the noise canceling headphones, OP. I got my son some for Christmas, and now nine times out of ten, he doesn't hear me talking to him even if I'm right behind him. Get your dad and his friend some bag balm. Stories of chafing balls will be a thing of the past. :)
ModernZelda 19
Might want to invest in some nice noise-cancelling headphones for the next road trip.
Kielnmsoftly 26
I suggest Beats. Can't hear shit through mine!
paravoz 30
I'm not sure there would be a next one after this...
Skinyrd 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like a bunch a ass but boggers
ana_lee_bonde 17
Was that english?
FluffyPandas156 13
#26 I don't know, I think it's the language most people now use to sound cool.
Skinyrd 17
It's my term for gay people. Or if you don't get that one, those two sound like a couple a fairy ****** faggots.
Steffi3 40
I hope your trip back is better
ironmany_fml 23
next time let your dad and his best friend sit together while you enjoy the view from the window.
gintwinsmoore 20
Your dad and his friend like listening to Chicks with Dicks radio? I see why you're anonymous. lol
_kyleG_ 34
I mean at least you're going somewhere ni... Yeah, uh, sorry OP.
HereNReady 13
Quality time with pops!
abNormal62 23
Offer them talcum powder for the chaffing?
joelp232 17
i think it sounds like a good time