Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, it's my 6-year anniversary with my fiance, but due to a lot of different family issues, I had to drive 9 hours with my dad to go visit them. Long story short, there was a giant argument about bread, my dad stormed out and I'm left to deal with this shit storm. FML
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Top comments
BassGirl 5
Fat ass dog ftw!
needleinmypants_fml 3
well you can't bond more than discussing old pubes!
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Comments (129)
Elfkid21 19
that actually does sound like fun! BUT if your going to travel, why on earth would you come to Arizona?? Nothings out here except the Grand Canyon.
MelissaLove234 7
That's just like my family no shit I have a fat ass golden retriever insane family
Ninjasaurus18 9
At least your family cares about you. Mine do, but there are kids who's parents are hardly ever around, and when they are, they beat their them. I'm from th ghetto, I've seen shit happen. So your family sounds like heaven to some kids.
kellandj2019 7
hey. obese golden retrievers are adorable! I have one myself :D
manzylittle3759 6
is this my sister?
doglover100 29
Just like mine except the pupes and overweight dog. I wish mine came on trips with us.
thatgingerbosss 4
Sounds like my family. May the force be with you.
Kuhu1993 21
You'll miss it when it's gone.
ilovetraveler 17
The dog part doesn't sound bad. I have an obese golden retriever who always lays on my lap wherever I go.
deathrowdiesel 2
U wouldnt happen to be a Griswald by any chance