Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, it's my 6-year anniversary with my fiance, but due to a lot of different family issues, I had to drive 9 hours with my dad to go visit them. Long story short, there was a giant argument about bread, my dad stormed out and I'm left to deal with this shit storm. FML
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Top comments
BassGirl 5
Fat ass dog ftw!
needleinmypants_fml 3
well you can't bond more than discussing old pubes!
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Comments (129)
siv97splat 0
haha road trips r a part of life.. you'll live!! and anyway you've got ur iPod and phone right?
me142 0
i could not stop laughing at this
HEYbunny 0
wow! have fun I thought my family was bad
tinybear93 0
wwhhhooo!! go az!!
pwnedl0l 5
arizona- a place horrible all year round. either the weather is horrible. or the people are horrible when the weather is nice. when you hear of people dying of heat stroke at 94 degrees back east, you just shake your head. when you hear of new york, you just think, wait until you see snow birds drive. when you see someone going to Arizona on FML, you immediately click FYL.
Rianokami 22
Try living in Az. For your entire life- all 20 years.
pwnedl0l 5
i've lived in arizona. my entire life. for nearly 16 years.
itstinnytiny 0
fat ass!
Lmfaogimmemore 0
crazy ass family u got there
HeaRTs_Girl 0
Wow, we might be related, that's a lot like my family. We put the fun in dysfunction. ^_^ All families have their quirks, and it might be annoying now, but later on you'll look back and smile, trust me. For now, have a fun and safe trip, and dedicate one of the karaoke songs to me. :-P Just kidding.
denvan 0
FYL but hey you should also add some of your stories to the trip
vbmg152 19
Sounds like fun!! Can I go? Ever heard of headphones? turn your music up loud and ignore them. Trust me, one day you'll miss your parents and you'll look back at these trips with fond memories! You won't remember the arguments or nasty talk. BTW they shouldn't talk like that in front of you, that's just gross!! Remember always take your music player and Headphones!!