Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML
Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML
Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML
Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Today, it's my 6-year anniversary with my fiance, but due to a lot of different family issues, I had to drive 9 hours with my dad to go visit them. Long story short, there was a giant argument about bread, my dad stormed out and I'm left to deal with this shit storm. FML
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Top comments
BassGirl 5
Fat ass dog ftw!
needleinmypants_fml 3
well you can't bond more than discussing old pubes!
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Comments (129)
warriorsoul 2
Sweeeeet! Why are you complaining? It's worth it if only for the stale Pringles!
wellinever 5
Fight back. Tell them about your pubes.
sillyrob 4
we don't want you
killabee 0
Buy some new ******* pringles, you whiney ass.
RedPillSucks 33
Starting Thanksgiving a bit early I see.... Sounds like good times. Just wait till you're old enough for this to be the highlight of your life.
iamchuck 0
Shit. I'm old enough.
watchasay71 4
I'm loving the comments here :p
aspnet_rules 0
I know some people whose parents were both shot and killed on the same day recently. At least you have parents and a family that still goes places, and has enough money for roadtrips. YDI for being ungrateful.
GTmustang07 0
just turn up your iPod, role down your window, and if you didn't want a fat dog you should have walked em a little more. karmas a bitch, or bastard depending on the gender of the dog..
huggy515 0
role down the window? u r as dumb as u look.
imperfect14 0
I can't last in a car for more than 4 hours. but be happy you have company I'm an only child and family road trips are boring as hell with just me and my parents.
Jimboom 12
When people disgust you with their conversations just take the tone one step lower and they will usually stop. Stop the talk about your dad's pubes by talking about your dingleberries (or clingons as some people call them) and how different diets affect the consistency and size of them. Also, how you pick them off and store them for later evaluation. Oh and the fact that you hid them in the Pringle's can before you left. ;-)