Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
miniluda12 12
What a dick. Sorry OP.
iOceanus 18
Where have all the gentlemen gone?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (148)
miniluda12 12
What a dick. Sorry OP.
CrewBoy 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It pays off to be a dick.
Begiz 12
I would have seized an opportunity like that aswell
guy24 9
Or maybe he let them both under the umbrella?
lexilikesyourhai 2
Well at least he probably thought she was pretty first.
patrickalamo 48
Are you sure he was not going to give up the umbrella to both of you.
Autoshot 9
He was talking to the pretty girl from the start. OP just thought he was talking to her at first when he wasn't.
sillyyanks 24
Wow Crewboy you are an ass when you comment on every single FML!
Zdoggg 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why is everyone hating on this guy so hard? If your looking for a new potential relationship and are trying to break the ice by offering to protect them from the elements why wouldn't you go for the girl your at least initially more attracted to? One girl scorned is worth the chance that another will have a quality relationship.
LMFAOwned 9
112, you're wrong in so many ways, it hurts.
ebdeadaccount 11
Sorry but I'm calling BS on this FML. Maybe it's true but I've seen a prank video on YouTube of a guy doing this exact thing over and over to an unsuspecting woman
ebdeadaccount 11
*to unsuspecting women.
ebdeadaccount 11
Ignore my comment, I was correcting my previous one which was removed for whatever reason.
heywhatsuphowdy 0
Im pretty sure ive seen a prank episode EXACTLY like this
MDbaseball2112 2
What a douche
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Yeah not a gentleman at all, sorry.
rsunshine2020 13
A real gentleman Would have let both ladies share the umbrella.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I thought he was just being a nice guy, offering his umbrella for all the ladies to share :o I dunno why everyone is calling him a dick, did I miss something?
DarkSanster 7
Yeah but then they would walk off with his umbrella... And its not a sure fact that the two girls were even going to the same destination. I think it'll make you look creepy...
gc327072 31
55- two girls one umbrella.
MagicGiraffe 12
21, that joke wouldn't have worked even if Chris Brown did sing that song.
DEFCON69 0
FIRST!!!but yeah sorry, men can be inconsidarate
Welshite 40
Twelfth!!! Oh my God, you don't know how much this means to me. I'd like to thank my family for their support, FML for letting me post, and the whole world for existing. Thank you, THANK YOU!!!
dressedskeleton 10
Why have people still not realized the "first" thing is really ******* irritating? You want to be first that badly, go win a race.
CrewBoy 10
I thought this "First!" Shit got settled years ago.
SenselessPattern 12
Check out 3's profile. It should enlighten you as to why he did that.
CrewBoy 10
Another resident of Boobsville, I shoulda known.
domking1315 20
And 3 has only three comments and a GREAT description -_- new people are irritating...
Posthuman 26
#3, Funny thing is, you aren't even "first"
MrForgetable 0
@54 And elitist people who think they're better than the newbies are annoying.
DEFCON69 0
Nooooooo
SerendipityRose 26
Reply Moderated.
iOceanus 18
Where have all the gentlemen gone?
miniluda12 12
I very much enjoy your picture.
highway_unicorn7 5
Uranus.
CrewBoy 10
^..........What........?
bones_17 5
It's sad what guys will go for if nothing better around.
FMLKitten 15
I took them and hid them in my closet.
iOceanus 18
10 - thanks, it is quite amusing.
IOmnomHard 10
19- Your picture makes me want to throw up..
perdix 31
We usually stay indoors when it rains. Suede shoes and silk suits don't fare well in the rain.
olpally 33
Right here... In the dreaded *friend zone*
loloalltheway 23
#58, thanks For making me look at it...
bones_17 5
aj94w 4
Must have gone to the same place all the non-trashy girls went.
shadowsorel 15
I'm still here. A sane, non-douche gentleman. Stuck in the friendzone... For the fifth time.
owo_fml 9
They're all off sharing their umbrellas with more attractive women.
brooks10101 1
U say this but women dont want them in my expirience they want the dick with a dick not a gent they just want the gent to open doors for them ext to feel specal till its time to date then its show me the asshole ( )0( )
highway_unicorn7 5
Well, at least he thought you were moderately attractive.
lacespace 8
Perhaps it would be nice if he offered it to her to be nice instead of basing it off of shallow factors.
neoncupcakez 0
He offered it to you first, he shouldn't have done that. :( Sorry. Completely an ass.
ohSNAPyall 27
Exactly. But if he were more suave, he could have salvaged this mess. He should have followed up by offering to let them share it while he walked in the rain. That would be the epitome of courtly.
Kiki242 19
People like him make me sick.
ee13lbp 4
diseases make me sick
andiewithlove 21
Don't mind 46, they just have the bird flu.
iOceanus 18
46 - Did you have the 'swine' flu? *hint hint*
ninjadinos 14
73- no, but they do have the chicken pox!
deathpotato 11
You wouldn't have wanted to share an umbrella with that asshole anyway.
jweezy89 4
Actually, I'm pretty sure she did want to. Otherwise she would have said no...
CoconutOil 7
I think 8 meant to say "you wouldn't want to". As in, you are better off not doing so. Wow, reading so many FML comments have made me want to make useless little corrections and explanations. I feel like I belong here now. *salute*
kittenvks 11
Reading comprehension. You're doing it wrong.
vicksidhu18 3
Aahh ......sad
pokerbratt 1
Sardarjii pic badlo
shamrockgal 4
What a jackass!