Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML
Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML
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Top comments
miniluda12 12
What a dick. Sorry OP.
iOceanus 18
Where have all the gentlemen gone?
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Comments (148)
perdix 31
Umbrella threesome, FTW! It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me that ends up getting wet.
lacespace 8
Get your own umbrella and shove it up his ass.
hotshot2626 9
Then proceed to open it >:)
sharksfan48 13
Classic dipshit
pokefan813 16
What would a modern dipshit be like?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Turn on Jersey Shore and you'll find your answer.
abu4u 26
Sound like something you see on a prank show.
Bpwoods 6
Not much of a prank in my opinion, but I guess it could be considered one
loserboii 11
Take the umbrella and hit him upside the head with it.
MrsAlexander83 10
You should have taken the umbrella from him, hit him over the head with it, an then proceed to share it with the other girl.
rebel_belle1974 5
What a jerk!
perdix 31
Where does it say he kicked the OP out? He could have a big golf umbrella that can fit a whole village under it.
Dilwann 27
I think it's implied in 'he abruptly turned to her'. I see it as OP walking on, the guy stopping (thus taking the umbrella away from OP) and offering the next girl her spot.
perdix 31
Well, that's just an assumption, and you know what happens when you make an assumption: You make an ASS out of U and MPTION.
foshizzle82 7
^ this comment made my day!
gracehi 33
He was obviously just looking to pick someone up. I guess the umbrella in the rain is the new puppy on the beach.
Racky_fml 14
Hopefully the other girl would've seen you, and seen that he would just dump a girl he's with whenever he sees someone he likes more walk by.