Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML
Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Mmm, nothing like a good old-fashioned face-mauling' FML! Cats can be vicious. Don't make them feel intimidated; they'll attack. I'm sure you already know this though. F your life... and your face. Definitely your face.
arielhoee 9
It means the same thing when a guy's dick suddenly gets really big.
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Comments (158)
slushmo 0
so?
JaneDoe_71 0
So it hurts... badly
RustedMetal 0
Idiot, it's gonna hurt ahha man that sucks lmao
nazooer 11
Curiosity killed the human.
Sun_Kissed18 25
...via cat :D
kewlcat 0
oh come on it's not that bad. I have a cat and a kitten and it happens to me everyday its really cute actually haha , man up and take the scratches. she not a lion
brutallyhonest24 0
sooo true =), except my cat just swats at my face
helloxmygoodbye 0
Some cats attack like lions. My mom still has tooth mark scars on her ankle from four years ago.
assasin_fml 0
fag
NeatNit 33
You seriously did not know that? Wow.
breenarae25 0
true, they also tend to scratch up ur new outfit... fml too
bailes_o_hay 0
haha it's probably the nip man. your cats strung out
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Mmm, nothing like a good old-fashioned face-mauling' FML! Cats can be vicious. Don't make them feel intimidated; they'll attack. I'm sure you already know this though. F your life... and your face. Definitely your face.
Atamix 0
YDI for staring at it.
blalien 0
Yeah, cats stare at each other to intimidate each other before a fight. Same as dogs.
cerulean_rules 2
Yeah, with most animals, looking them in the eyes is a challenge. If you look in the eyes of a dog much smaller and weaker than you, it will look away.
nevele11 0
lmao this was worded so funny.
hellokimmiee 5
true. watch and learn.
Destiwana 0
HAHAHA this has happened to me before It is hilarious way after the fact.
ilovefatcats 12
that's a threat to cats when u look fm right in the eyeball
kaity111 0
i love your hair!!!!
jessxoxo28 5
lmao! i agree with #5
arielhoee 9
It means the same thing when a guy's dick suddenly gets really big.
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
WIN
B0SSAN0VACHICK 0
Agreed!
ilovefatcats 12
right I suppose u would no even ur name says it arielHOEe
DeathShad0 1
Sell it to a Chinese Restaurant.
fakkumairaifu 14
You shouldn't stare directly into the eyes of a cat, or of most other animals; it indicates hostility. But you probably didn't know that, so yeah, FYL.