Cheating and Love: Quick thinking

Quick thinking

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 00:04 - United States - Mount Jackson

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

agreeclassic 30 473

vote type 1 2 018

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By leeceetaylor99 - 15/07/2013 16:47 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

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By rhunter17 - 06/04/2015 19:38

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

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By TheThirdWheel - 23/04/2018 05:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML

agreeclassic 6 450

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By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

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Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

agreeclassic 3 641

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By Allergic - 24/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

agreeclassic 40 377

vote type 1 3 463

By goo - 10/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

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Criminal Minds

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML

agreeclassic 2 676

vote type 1 133

By Kelly - 27/12/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

agreeclassic 26 649

vote type 1 11 833

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

agreeclassic 47 993

vote type 1 3 992

dathan 14

Tuesday 16 October 2012 9:14

You're such a bitch. You don't even trust your boyfriend when he's tying to save your best friend's life. No srsly that sucks.

jamza 10

Tuesday 16 October 2012 9:17

Sneeze... Then tell him your allergic to bullshit

Comments

Kagrish 9

Wednesday 17 October 2012 10:54

Seems legit.

Sneekys 2

Thursday 18 October 2012 4:55

Today, my girlfriend bitched me out because i saved her best friend's life. FML

StephenStills 6

Sunday 21 October 2012 11:56

You sure know how to pick a winner. :)

FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29

Monday 22 October 2012 22:00

Seems legit.

Sanakhana 1

Friday 2 November 2012 8:04

do you think this true?

Morgiepoooh9822 17

Tuesday 19 March 2013 3:10

I would throw a jar of peanut butter at his head.

ODST_Panda 12

Saturday 27 September 2014 23:25

My home remedy for bullshit is a kick to the taint.

bliadddrwg42 4

Wednesday 17 January 2018 2:03

as a medical professional, I can tell you, that's not how you stop an allergic reaction, to peanut butter or otherwise.

123Puppy 33

Monday 4 May 2020 14:23

I hope you dumped them both.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

agreeclassic 26 099

vote type 1 10 864

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

agreeclassic 41 085

vote type 1 4 929

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

agreeclassic 32 556

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Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML

agreeclassic 636

vote type 1 112

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

agreeclassic 20 822

vote type 1 42 324

Today, my boss had me walk a mile to the nearest store to get food for a party because she didn't want to lose her parking space at work. Her shopping list had two gallons of juice and a 10lb bag of ice... I had my legs and arms. FML

agreeclassic 3 954

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