Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML
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Top comments
randomthing 22
I like your parents :p
jazzyjazz23 9
At least they used a good reference, right?
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Comments (133)
randomthing 22
I like your parents :p
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Are you a Weasely? Your dp look awfully familiar to them ;-)
randomthing 22
I'll take that as a compliment! ;)
jesscarrr 10
I thought, at the start, this fml was going in a completely different direction.
Inheritance 10
OP is now free and has a masturbation sock! That's a plus 1 for you!
jezane 9
55- They wanted him to go, not come.
NeonPopRocks 14
58- Now I know why Dobby loves socks.....
8KAGE8 8
They sound like they have quite the sense of humor. To me anyways
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
They seem like nice people.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Yay! You're not a slave anymore! Congrats!
MalloryKnox 8
Now OP won't end up like Kreacher!
ryguy83 2
That was from Zack Braff saying when I turn 18 I'm telling my parents Dobby dosent have to listen to you Dobby Is free
jazzyjazz23 9
At least they used a good reference, right?
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Parents can be such assholes. Sorry OP. you can thank them by putting them in the old home once they become old and weak.... Dobby be good... Dobby kill master. *evil grin*
P374RD3D 9
Dobby never meant to kill. Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure.
Scarshadow101 6
Woah there. Parents aren't assholes, and saying so is EXTREMELY disrespectful. OP's parents probably want OP to go independent and care for her/himself. This doesn't mean that they're assholes or deserve to be dumped in an old folk's home. I agree that they may have been a little brisk with the way they broke it to OP, but I'm sure they meant well. OP, good luck with that. And your parents have some sense of humour.
SApprentice 34
I'm so sorry OP, because your parents are kicking you out, but that is the funniest thing I have read all day. Your parents are very creative.
turkturkington 13
Wear that sock with pride and strut out that door. Ignore questions regarding single sock on foot from general public. Be proud of your new life. On the other hand, if you don't want to move out, hide the sock. In fact, burn all the socks in the house. They'll be dead confused, it'll be great.
jellycorn 13
Now Dobby can wear his odd mixture of clothes! The children's football shorts, the odd socks, the tea cosy, and Ron's maroon sweater!
Draxanoth 15
Who knew a card could containe so much win?
P374RD3D 9
*contain I have absolutely no idea how you made that mistake.
onlychildFTW 34
Maybe he meant "could have contained so much..."
Draxanoth 15
My finger hit the "E" right before I sent.
chriswright1888 10
Yay! Dobby is free! Now get a job.
killer6969 16
Go to hogwarts in work in the kitchen!
MakeTodayADTR 20
I don't see why so many people complain about their parents on here, they all seem to have great senses of humor. :) I wish my parents were that creative :P
ellytoad 13
You don't know that jokes can be used to hurt people?
Ugi 27
It nice to have both but being a supportive parent might be better than being creative in your lack of support!
jollyton 10
Lmao! You just made my day! Lol