Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
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Top comments
dathan 14
You're such a bitch. You don't even trust your boyfriend when he's tying to save your best friend's life. No srsly that sucks.
jamza 10
Sneeze... Then tell him your allergic to bullshit
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Comments (107)
jem970 19
I really hope you got rid of both of them OP, you don't need that.
iHeartRKO 5
At least they weren't having sex
ellytoad 13
Wow, that's comforting news. Now the OP can dance with joy!
BellaBelle_fml 23
Doesn't matter, cheating is cheating. Wether it's kissing, groping, hugging, holding hands, sexting, actually having intercourse or oral, etc. If you're in a relationship and you're doing any of these things to someone who is not your partner then you are cheating. Period and end of story.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Also, the true FML here is the fact that OP's 2 closest friends have betrayed her.
TessMaddie 3
I've gotta say I disagree with the hugging thing. I wouldn't care if my boyfriend hugged another girl.
chisty87 16
If she did that she wasn't really a best friend now was she?
FameNFortune 12
U deserve better and that was the most dumbest excuse ever. Seriously if your that dumb stay with him . If you have a brain and your smart leave .
noisebox 1
But how did he explain his member in her butt?
ambear26 14
Ah yes the old "I was trying to stop this from happening to them" explanation. Works every time..... No doesn't work ? Oh well then why do these idiotic boyfriend's continue to use it. FYL op sorry.
ellytoad 13
That's a new one. When will the collective learn that fooling around is unmistakeable?
sorrowsangel89 1
Been there op. ppl really suck sometimes. Hope u dumped his unworthy ass
NigerianMedicine 11
Impressive excuse, given the circumstances.
JPEllis 0
Your boyfriend must have some medication stashed in his mouth. Go kiss his best guy friend and say it's research.