Today, someone misread some details of my dating profile on an app and thought I was subtly indicating that I'm a prostitute. In fact, I'm a shy 33-year-old virgin who's never been kissed and has obviously been failing at using dating apps and websites for years. I guess now I know one thing I did wrong. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was swiping on Tinder and came across my active profile before confronting me. I'm not sure who's more in the wrong. FML
Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML
Today, I set up a profile on a dating app, stating that I'm awkward amongst other things. Within minutes, a guy messaged me. I was thrilled, until he started threatening me because he has Aspergers, and according to him, only they are "allowed" to be awkward. I had to delete my profile. FML
Today, I was hitting it off pretty well with a girl I met through a dating app. However, she's never going to speak to me again because I also happened to "match" with her friend. How was I supposed to know they knew each other? FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I was flirting with this really attractive guy on a dating website until he became convinced I wasn't real by my pictures and bio, and stopped messaging me and reported me for spam. He was really, really cute and funny, and seemed like a great guy until then. Guess I'm too vanilla. FML
Today, after a nice Thanksgiving with my parents, and the usual question about when I'll bring a woman with me to meet them, I absentmindedly launched the usual dating app. I swiped completely dry with no matches, reminding myself that my entire city doesn't have one person interested in dating me. FML
Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML
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Top comments
PenguinPal3017 19
I really want to know the details here.
The_Damned 4
you really post how easy you are online? haha
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Comments (8)
The_Damned 4
how does one become a 33 yr old virgin? ..
EmDizzle2007 28
it's really easy. this is one of those "life outside of my walls doesn't exist" comments.
The_Damned 4
I'm just surprised that people try to get to 50 without being laid. that's beyond me.
RichardPencil 32
Yes, you didn’t post your rates! Rookie mistake.
Burle 17
What did you write, "party friendly"?
GamerChickxoxo 16
my roommate and i are both 24 He's a kiss-less virgin I've ****** somewhere around 28 people.god knows how many ive done other stuff with :p From my experience, if you can take the courage to kiss someone,they will probably **** you. and ppl on dating sites will jsut assume that,hell someone on a job posting site thought "day labour" meant i was a prostitute.
The_Damned 4
you really post how easy you are online? haha
PenguinPal3017 19
I really want to know the details here.
RichardPencil 32
Handjob: $10 Handjob with lotion: $25 Everything else: Market price
KittyMack 13
I'm so curious what it was! My guess is she said she likes "generous men" which can be code for "you'll need to pay me" but OP just sincerely finds generosity an endearing character trait...?
J15237 25
Sounds like we need some more details on this. I mean how did this happen? Can we see the profile?
peterblackmer91 12
I'm extremely confused as to how a shy woman like you could come across as a prostitute. That's just weird.