Tai 31 October 2010, 13:30 Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Precaution

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

432 comments

Collection

Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Same thing different taste

Anonymous 28 November 2019, 18:00 Canada 🌶️ Spicy

I don't understand!

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

14 comments

ottawaaa 27 January 2009, 22:26 Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

49 comments

fuckmuppeter512 4 January 2014, 22:26 United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

237 comments

Anonymous 17 February 2018, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Some people are so... creative.

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

54 comments

Anonymous 22 May 2020, 05:00

Yeet it

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

22 comments

Anonymous 3 September 2023, 14:00 🌶️ Spicy

Wrap it up

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

12 comments

RC3Welly 9 March 2012, 22:58 United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

1769 comments

RC3Welly 9 March 2009, 22:58 United States 🌶️ Spicy

It's a trap!

35 comments

Anonymous 20 June 2009, 11:13 Switzerland 🌶️ Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

3 comments

Blue balled by porn 2 December 2025, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Not funny

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML

0 comment

perdix 31

31 October 2010, 19:19

You're going to have shitty kids.

Paramorefan2 1

31 October 2010, 19:16

wow. that sucks. she's stupid.

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Comments (432)

QWERTYCommander 5

31 October 2010, 19:27

How old is she?

tails9888 5

7 July 2012, 17:04

furtherwise 0

31 October 2010, 19:27

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

U better stop Man, Anal sex is damn bad to ya health. U gona b impotence coz u use a lot of enegy to get th sexual pleasure.

dudeitsdanny 10

31 October 2010, 19:31

I hope your statement and your spelling are both your idea of trolling..

Sinkhole 26

31 October 2010, 22:53

C'mon, give the poor guy a break, he probably used so much energy to write that message that now he's impotence... sorry, impotent! Writing comments is so damn bad for his health!